Saturday 27 October 2012

Telling people Father is in home





My mobile rings and there is a lady with disguised hostility and aggression in her voice asking me where is my father. Then she asks to speaks to someone else. Sorry it's only me. I think it that my father or am I a paid worker. Well she goes one about their connection and how she knew me when I was like a teenager.  Okay - not top of the list to ring around people since that means going through father's stuff. Too emotional at this state and it's pure dudgery. I did ring those who had left messages and notes.

Okay as I calm down I think she probably worked herself into a state of courage to ring me. Not sure why - well probably because I've stopped talking to my aunt who just likes to lament and lament and lament and lament but in fairness is just off loading the guilt of not seeing her kin. 

I think as I put down the phone I vaguely recall her daughter but it's over twenty-five years ago. Anyway I give her the details of the home at which I notice she'd calmed down. Probably heard lots of things - well frankly I couldn't careless.

I just ask that they ring before visiting so at least Father looks his best. I mean in the western world people do call before visiting. A barrage of questions are thrown at me so I tell her - he can't go to the phone because of the stroke he can't speak at which time I feel like crying and all the emotions well up inside again at poor father in this state.

Does one really have to go through this every time? Oh well I did some of the rounds I'd be meaning to do and just left messages on voicemail or with whom ever picked the phone. I have one more call to make to the US.

Father in home and lacks mental stimulation


So as you all gather my father is now in a residential home. My last post was about him eating his clothes - well not literary but like in an anxious sort of way. I figured it was lack of mental stimulation since he was a very active man before his stroke and another ageing illness.


Anyway he can't really read - well I don't think so because he still can't talk properly with is frustrating for us as well as him. Also as elderly person he was in hospital and with a change of environment this can have a set back on everything. And it does. It's very hard to explain but changing environments can have a very unsettling effect on some elderly people.

Anyway he was discharged from hospital so the family had a chat with the home. After all the medical details - I can tell you a few things about peg feeds we discussed about how he was generally. I told them I found he seemed bored. Well it seems it's a fairly common with residents. Now boredom is a good and bad sign. The good thing is that he's getting back to himself and realising his surrounding but the other is that he is bored. Very bored. And bed bound.


Reading and suggested audio books

Another thing is that he's a reading man with effect of the strokes he can hardly lift his hands. Anyway I was looking for something interesting to do so they suggested doing getting some talking/audio books. But I also think he needs some visual stimulus. If only there were solitaire games for bed bound patients.

Anyway, I've not been about to see him because I've got a cold/flu. Simple - no. He is vulnerable to infections so these things will have to wait till I'm fit - so a couple of days.

I've got him a hardback book with big writing and I've found a charity that does free talking books which I shall sign up for. It's called Calibre and it's an audio book lending library for those with poor eyesight or conditions that prevent them from reading print. It does all kinds of book even those into some x-rated stuff like 50 shades.

http://www.calibre.org.uk/

Singing

I sometimes sing to him thought I can't alway remember a song or something suitable. He could listen to the radio but sometimes it's turned off and forgot to be switched back on again. The perilous of having weak limbs and being bed bound is that a person relys on vitually everything being done for them.

Overall

Over the last few years of the family caring for my father it's being difficult to know what exactly he'd like or dislike. It's always a risk doing something in which the person will not be interested. Even more so since he can't do want he generally did which was just going about socialising and reading.

It's a difficult one.

Friday 26 October 2012

Fly Lady - drama with products and Rubba Scrubbas (or similar ) in the UK



I read FlyLady emails and there seems a lot of gushing about her products especally the Rubba Scrubbas so I decided to see if they were really as good as claimed. Then I realised I'd bought a similar product at a tradefair once and never used it. It just seemed too stiff and tiresome so it was abadoned. It was one of those tools that looked so good in demostrations but at home was boring. We all have those with shoes, clothes and kitchen appliances.

Also I'm not too bothered about a bit of dirt here and there. I'm not a homemaker or house wife, I'm not married and I have no kids. So I don't have time to be bother about missing a spot here and there. There is more to life than cleaning though I do like a tidy home and for that Flylady's advice seems fun.

Anyway looking for reviews on her products what I didn't count on was the critism FlyLady got. You'd think people paid to be part of her group which is free and mostly common sense.  There seems a problem with people taking her advice too far and getting disappointed when things don't turn out how they quite expected.

Flylady at the most only gives suggestions. You take what you need. I only need a tidy sink so I don't do shiny. I'm a few days late but better late than never.

Read this post for all the flylady bitching based on a blog by a lady called Pat Gundry
http://noodlefactory.typepad.com/noodling/2006/06/flylady_my_conc.html Which makes for interesting reading however most of the negative comments are just women whining about one thing or the other. A few good ones but like I said she only give advice and you take what works for you. As for her products - well I just use things from the local store.

If you are in the UK and really desparate for the Rubba Scrubbas apparently you can get something similar in the pet section of the 99p shop.

Well, do you happen to have a '99p store' in your neighbourhood? The chain of stores who took over quite a lot of the old Woolworths premises. (You can check where your nearest one is on their website: http://www.99pstoresltd.com/index.asp). If you do, have a look on their pet supplies section. There is a brush which is very similar to the Rubba Scrubba (looks identical except that it's white and green) which is sold as a pet hair brush. I bought one, and it is very effective. Certainly worth the money.

Pea.
http://boards.fool.co.uk/fly-lady-rubba-scrubba-11814592.aspx



I'm loving my tidy sink and clean bathroom.


Thursday 18 October 2012

Tidying up routine gong well


Okay so I'm doing this tidy thing because things are a bit chaotic and like with the rest of my life I allowed google to decide. It came up with Marci, the thankful homemaker. She seemed pretty cool and gave credit to Flylady who is like a housecleaning and organizing guru.

Anyway I did a bit of Marci's morning rountine I've found simple enough. 
  1. Cleaning the bathroom - I do this first thing when I'm in there. I just wipe down the sink, bath and loo.  I  haven't got the mirror or mopping the floor stage yet. Remeber I'm just on day five fo this thing.
  2. I do my morning stretches but I've always done these anyway. It's just a simple yoga routine with some of the ta chi movements (if I remember)
From Flylady I've being keeping a tidy sink. Yest she says shiny well tidy is good enough for me. When I mean tidy I mean empty of dishes and nothing on the draining board. I don't have a dishwaster so I do things the old fashion way - with washing up liquid and hand action.

So far so good but it does take committment to keep a tidy not shiny sink. Well off to do some washing up now.

Sunday 14 October 2012

Starting on Cleaning and Tidying Schedule thanks to Marci the Thankful Homemaker




I need a cleaning schedule or either that or hire a maid (too expensive). I went on google and found a really good one. But will I follow it? I've tried the super cleaning guru Flylady before but sort of fell by the wayside.

I get really confused about housework - maybe if I weren't on the internet all day I might have some time to do some. That was a joke - Kind of.

I'm not a homemaker, I don't have a man that allows me to stay at home though it might be nice. I work so I can't spend all the time cleaning. I don't even have a man full stop. Whatever.

I found this site with a sample schedule it's by a lady called Marci the Thankful Homemaker who is happily married to Doug.

She seems a bit scarily super-organised but I think it's what I need. I actually have like tons of time management books but it means taking time out to read them. Nah, that's just a waste of time.

If you are into religion or Jesus check out her blog. I just want to be tidier. Cleanliness is next to Godliness - that's good enough for me.

http://thankful-homemaker.blogspot.co.uk/

So I've checked out her site - she has a homemaking binder section. Okay no way am I going that far but I can always edit stuff. And at least it give me a lead. She is amazing! I would usually cuss in that but I need to respect that I don't think Marci the thankful homemaker will appreciate me doing that. Still great stuff but then she's also based her stuff off Flylady. Maybe I'll try both. Hmmm.... don't want to knock myself out just reading about cleaning instead of doing it. Mental fatigue, you know.

I'll use Marci as a template and follow Flylady. How does that sound? Okay here it goes. This is Flylady's website if you are thinking of doing something like me.

http://www.flylady.net/d/getting-started/flying-lessons/

http://thankful-homemaker.blogspot.co.uk/p/homemaking-binder.html

We'll just have to see.

I seem to be over urban books.

I went through a phrase when I loved watching gangsta movies and reading books. Now it's all called urban but at first it was gangsta then hip hop now urban. Change the cover  but the content is still the same.

I remember my college friends getting my Juice - with Tupac, Omar Epps and Kardeem Hardison. I collected Menace II Society which featured a young Jada Pinkett and also Poetic Justice, Friday and a few others. It was the hey day of VHS.

From them I discovered that the genre went far back and so I watched early on like Super Fly, Foxy Brown Philly High and a few others. I read Pimp by Slim Iceberg and a few others.  After a while I stopped and other things took my interest - I sort of do that in my reading.

Then zoom a few years later there was a new wave of writers all starting with Sista Soulja's The Coldest Winter Ever and then Wahida Clark's Thug Trilogy. Clark's books were easier to read though at the same time followed a simple premise and were quite formulaic.

It was at this point the genre because urban and a very good hustle to making money. It was the time hip hop was reaching a wider audience and featuring in the main commercial charts and getting play on main stream radio. Some Hip Hop became pop and it was no longer an underground sound.

The books became a serous hustle and ghetto fabulous was in. Writers were getting on the New York Times best sellers list and this was when it became a formula and no longer original works - a bit like reality TV or romance novels. At some point urban books became pure escapism in the way of Harlequin romance novels (including the Kimani brand).

Everything was pretty much the same stuff. It was only different locations and character names but same old situations be it a street soldier, pimp or dealer with some ride or die chick and a babymama in some corner. Lots of gun action and dead bodies when at some man decides he want to go legit - or basically a different take on that situation. The book always needs a strong woman who is doing it for herself and riding & dying with some man.

 Anyway I recently picked up another called Street Soldier 2 Silhouettes. It's an imprint and copyright of Urban Books.  This means Urban Books commissioned a professional writer and paid them for writing the book. Also the writer gets no credit in the book. All publishers do it from time to time. They may give the writer a storyline, characters and a word count. Street Soldier 2 was well written but it just wasn't exciting any more. Maybe I'd just grown up.




Bitterness, Funerals and Life Goes On.


Horace of Finchey was a popular street entertainer and street artist who recently died. He was a man that lived his life the way he wanted to for years. He was kind, cheerful and wished everyone the best of luck. I once heard him in Camden Sainburys supermarket yelling 'the best of luck' to everyone.

When a family member use a funeral to settle the score.

An uncle of mine, Uncle T who easily could have been Horace died not long ago, too. 

Each of us have our truth and behind scenes of the tributes, mourning and celebration of my Uncle T's life a family drama of power, anger and control slowly erupted and exploded at the his grave side.

Everyone will have an opinion. I too have decided to put my business and that of my family in the street. It's like a reality show. My uncle would probably be confused and find it funny that he's causing so much fuss in death. He probably would just shake his head and walk away and get on with his business.

But, Uncle T,  ya know we all deep down ratchetness, we be carrying our business to the street and wearing our heart on our sleeves.  You know it aint no family gathering without some words exchanged or something happening. It's La Fam.

My grandfather who looked after my uncle died about twenty years ago. The reason - my late grandmother gave birth to my uncle in her forties and as women know sometimes this can lead to complications. So my uncle needed a guardian because he was young.

Anyway when my grandfather died it was decided for various reasons that an aunt would look out for him. He lived on his own so this was about making sure he was okay. It wasn't an easy task - challenging and sometimes unrewarding. Instead of saying she couldn't cope she let her resentment fester. It's a control thing. She is the kind of person that is always right and it had to be her way. It's hard to explain but some people like to take ownership of something. Strangers think she is fantastic and a wonderful person but ya'll most people have those saints in their family. They will move mountains for outsiders but ...
 
 Anyway he was in and out of hospital - which we found out later - via her eulogy (it was something ya'll - a bit uncomfortable at times - and no she didn't read it - so got someone else to do it - same old excuse - grief) and she never informed the family. Anyway one day he has a bad turn and is touch and go for four hours. He decides to go. My aunt obviously knowing the seriousness of his condition and he was dying did not inform the family. Time out - if you're black basically - African, African American or West Indian. If you are black you know that some of us do vigilance or at the very least allowing us to say good bye to a dying person is very important. You probably thinking maybe she was right to shut out family who she alleged didn't care - but you don't know the full story and I'm not going to go into it. Let her be a saint. Let her be the Christian she claims to be.

So he passes. He decides to go. Three days later she informs me to tell my mother and give me the time of the funeral and not to wear black. Okay. She also tells me a few other things and I aint in the mood to listen her rachetness so I put the phone down on her and make my way to my mother.

I ring my mother who apparently had already found out from her brother. One of my cousins had found out via social media he died so informed him. Okay - I'm like she is mourning and grieving but people she is also taking pops.  Some may think she was justified - who know? I find out later she only informed me for damage control - because she knew others had found out via social media.

Later on I find out the social media knew on the day he died, pure strangers. People that passed him in the street knew before kin. Okay. But it gets worse.

She hoarded veiwing of his body instructing the funeral home no one (family) was allowed a private viewing at the funeral home. It's going to be an open coffin/casket funeral so everyone could see him at the same time. We find out she can do what she wants. Fine.


We all are human and sometimes when we feel wrong we think about our hour of vindication. We think when we will have the upper hand but when the time comes most of us let it go. Most I say but not all.

This was no longer about my uncle but her hour of glory. I hoped she enjoyed basking in it. She is the kind that goes telling everyone how much she was doing. As I said there is backstory to all of this. She has her own truth and so does everyone else.  We learnt lessons from this but this heifer carried it way beyond.

It was a nice and befitting turn out for a man loved by all. All his friends, associates and people that loved him turned out. It was beautiful. They'd all come to see pay their respects and see him off. Wonderful. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Praise be to the Creator for all this. It was also a fine day with good weather.


Sat at the back with my mother then we went to grave side. After that we went. Other family members went up to her - now you know that kind of person - wrong or right is waiting for it.  Lawd have mercy I heard she went off one saying 'You never cared about him.' For Real! You are kidding me right? They probably shouldn't have gone up to her given the sentiment already. I know, I know, I know - she was grieving and in mourning. Right, I get it - I even said it but stop. Unless you are the receiving side of that I think we will never get it. I don't get it. I don't understand it. But I get the 'do what you will' because of grief and mourn. Still it's not a license to malice especially if you knew the whole story. Everyone has a version; everyone thinks theirs is the only true one.

All I think was they gave her a platform for her to do her drama queen theatricals. She was probably waiting and hoping they came up to her. And they did. At grave side. Shake my head. She did it to an audience so saying it makes no difference.

It's sad that she went that far. It was hurtful and vindictive what she said. She was grieving, she was mourning. people behave differently when they grieve and mourn - I know that. It's a common excuse.


Anger is colourless. Spite is colourless. Meanness has is colourless too. It could be said people mourn in different ways - okay. Just make sure they don't target you.

Outside she is a saint to all inside she denied my close family the choice to mourning their brother in private.  She has spoken words even if true to her can't be taken back. She has taken actions that make others shake their heads.  She has coloured the sunlight with her darkness. So not only do they contend with the passing of their youngest brother they have to reconcile the fact that she behaved in this way.

Her honour of glory has past. The pain may remain but it will fade and only be remembered in memories. It's over. And as she plays the event over in her mind will it bring her satisfaction. Maybe but who really wants that sort of satisfaction? Bitterness is colourless - you can only see it in actions, words and intent.


As I said everyone has their opinion and their truth. It's easy to judge and pass comment if it weren't your family. It's unfortunate. Oh well, it's done.

So like Horace of Finchley, I had an uncle that once lived. Now gone. And funny thing as I said above  is that Uncle T wouldn't have really cared. He'd have just looked up, scratched his head and the probably laughed and been confused at all this fuss.

Funerals are for the living least we forget because the dead are already gone.

Thank you for reading this  and using Horace of Finchley's words  I wish you all- The Best Of Luck!

Saturday 13 October 2012

Thank you to my readers who read my reality blogs on R&B Divas, Love and Hip Hop and Basketball Wives.




Thank you for reading my blog regarding all the reality shows I watched. It's being a great journey watching them and writing up about what I thought.

I decided not to write about them any more because it was no longer fun. When I first started these shows were exciting - I loved watching the Love and Hip Hop New York series - then I got hooked on the Basketball Wives. I was blogging before but also as soon as I started to write about these dysfunctional but entertaining people I started to get hits. So I got greedy for more hits and I would talk about was how many hits I was getting to anyone that listened.

After the Lozada and Tami Roman situation - I wasn't sure about blogging but the hits kept on coming. I knew the casts of these shows were mostly wannabes desperate for fame or a lot of has beens like Benzino Ray Scott or Stevie J that wanted a comeback. But it was still exciting. As bad and horrible as the drama and conflict got I was glued to screen and more people were reading my blog.

Now after R&B Divas I've decided to take stop because though it's easy to write about reality shows it wasn't what I set out to do. In fact I'm not really sure what I wanted. Well I am. I wanted attention by people reading what I had to say. I wanted to be popular and looking how many times someone read a blog post made me happy but in the end I took no pride in criticising or trying to make sense of these attention seekers. What I realised was by writing about them I was becoming part of the reality show machine. I just want to write fiction. Simply write.

I see many bloggers especially on You Tube they start with a good idea but end up with doing reality shows or celeb gossip because it's what gets the youtube hits. I watch them and have my favourites but it's no longer what I want to do.

Thank you very much once again for reading my posts. I'll probably still watch the shows but just for fun - and not to comment and review on them. I will drop the odd blog once in while as I said I'm not sure what I'm going to be doing yet.

UPDATE: 26 JULY 2013



Things have changed since then and as you can see I've continued writing. Sometimes the negativity on these shows are too much and to relive it again by writing about it is too much. And at other times nothing really happens but now I've found a solution and just do a brief summary as is in some episodes of R&B Divas Atlanta.

I do write fiction as well and check me out on Smashwords.   So as long as I have time and there are shows I like and want to write about. I will.

 
BLESSINGS & A BIG THANKS

Best Wishes and Love

Snuggie xoxoxoxoxo

Friday 12 October 2012

My Life: Father in home and chewing clothes.

My elderly father had a serious stroke and then a bad relapse so had to go into residential care.  I think he is slowing recovering. He lost use of one side and is weak in the other.

The doctors were pretty doubtful in the hospital and I just think it's because he didn't recover on their timetable being a elderly man. He also has some underlying ageing condition which makes things more difficult. The doctors reckon I was emotional - maybe I was and an - it doesn't really matter because pessimistic or optimistic the situation is what it is.

I visit him regularly but now over the last few weeks I've seen him chew his clothes.  There is nothing much one can do about this I think. It probably is because he's bedridden there is a lack of stimulation also because he lives in his mind. I've googled some chewing toys given to children but the problem is that he might bite off a lot and end up choking. Also the home may not allow it since he's under their care. Lastly, it doesn't resolve the problem of why he's doing this.

We did buy an ipad for him to use but for various reasons and mainly due to his confused state it can't be left at the home.  So what to do?

If anyone has any suggestions please leave a comment below. I'm thinking of getting a toy but I'm not sure which one - they all seem childish and as his daughter I don't want to be patronising.

I've decided I'll take up a picture book. Anyway I'll give an update and probably try and draw some pictures.


Tuesday 9 October 2012

R&B Divas Season 1 Episode 8 Season Finale: Nicci, Faith, Keke, Syleena and Monifah do Essence Music Festival, Terez talks civil rights, Nicci does her normal Smarty Pants Attitude, Keke throw a real diva fit, and Faith is dignifed as normal.

This show was about the Essence Music Festival in New Orleans, Nicci Gilbert hogging the camera and everyone accusing Keke of being a drama queen...well normally we will say DIVA but we are not allowed since diva is supposed to be positive. But Keke was in real DIVA mode. I'm just writing about what came to mind. A lot of it seems scripted and staged drama especially the women complaining about their voices.

STOP PRESS

Just heard it was the season finale hmmm... it was bit of an anticlimax because there was nothing really stood out about being resolved. I guess that was why Nicci kept saying her singing passion issues were resolved and Terez sort of agreed to move to ALT. Well nothing was really resolved and I thought the end was supposed to be the recording of the charity album not a journey to singing at  the Essence Music Festival. Anyway I digress.....

The girls arrive in New Orleans.

Faith Evans, Nicci Gilbert, Monifah and Keke Wyatt are in New Orleans for the festival doing what they no best - not singing but eating and boozing on cocktails.



Nothing really happens about from them gushing about how great this will be. I might be making this up but there wasn't really anything important in this scene just them behaving like gluttons and draining down booze.

Someone makes a comment about the amount of alchol in a drinks and at this point I feel this is going to be a very long show about nothing.

Rehearsals with all three

Nicci, Faith, Monifah, Syleena and Keke all come to the rehearse their songs for the big night. All girls are doing tribute songs and  Syleena whines on and on about singing At Last by Etta James - her reason is that it's being fifteen years of trying to get on the Essence Music Festival and now she has arrived.


Keke is doing Whitney Houston's I want to Dance with somebody. Okay even before the Keke Wyatt drama starts I think why is she doing a dance uptempo song when all the others are doing ballads or slow numbers, sorry I forget about Monifah but that's what really Monifah is unless she steps up - forgetable. Also why do all the women come in on Keke's number at the end.  I'm not really feeling this but whatever.


Monifah does her number - it's okay but a bit off key, Faith and Nicci do their song and then so does Syleena. Syleena is the best but as you know singers never really give 100% in rehearsals - they save the best for stage.


Anyway it's Keke's turn and she is not feeling it probably for the same reasons I mentioned. It's very hard to make a dance uptempo song your own. Anyway Keke throws a diva fit saying she can't hear herself and complains about everyone's song choice.
 

 They all deny it but whatever I know what she means - it's like there is no high points in the song for her to show off - or do her runs because it's such a tightly packed beat and tempo. Monifah has the same problem with her Last Dance.




It all turns into a drama and Faith says they all knew about the songs before coming to New Orleans so she doesn't see why Keke is fussing. It's hard to explain but it's probably Keke's nerves and the song's tempo gives Keke little room to make it her own. It will just Keke singing Whitney's song rather than Keke singing I Wanna Dance with Somebody. Anyway we learn Keke needs to stick with the song - probably licenses and clearance issues.

Terez and Monifah

Nothing much apart from Terez doing her gay civil rights bit. Monifah wants to move to Atlanta but Terez is not feeling it -  she says It's still the dirty South. It may be upwardly mobile but politically there is still some Jim Crow going on. it's not the called the dirty south for nothing.  Ouch! Okay I think we know where Terez stands.


Monifah is talks about moving to Atlanta for her career - what about Terez's career? Or is Terez playing the homemaker part. We are never told what exactly Terez does- does she live off Monifah? It isn't easy to relocate if you have built up a career somewhere.  Anyway Terez comes out with another civil rights speech - she does not want to live or contribute to anything that does not promote equality  - does she mean minorities in general or  gay people or black gay people? I'm not sure.

Monifah is like Terez takes things too seriously and she wants to live her life and not worry about all that stuff. Well Monifah that stuff is why people can vote, use the same rest room as others and Obama is president today but hey maybe if Monifah was singing back in the fifties and using the back entrance she might think differently. I'm not hard but maybe she should respect her partner's political views and not dismiss them on TV. Not a good look. So is this relationship just one prolonged booty call? On a serious note it seems as if politics is serious business to Terez who looks like a feminist.



At some point Terez suddenly switches and totally agrees with Monifah. Okay, I must be missing something - maybe a producer told Terez to keep in light (all this stuff is for the show) and probably the audience are not interested in Jim Crow or equality and it's bad enough there is no ratchet behaviour.

Terez does a turn around and agrees to try out Atlanta to test the social climate, the schools (is that baby thing still on the agenda?) and the properties.

Syleena and family.

Syleena and her family discuss fifteen years of Essence Festival rejections and how she has finally arrived. She fails to note it wasn't because of her but Faith Evan's contacts that got  her the gig.


Syleena makes fun of her sister asking about calories and hopes that she will be invited again. However she wasn't really invited in the first place.


Itwas Faith Evans who told them about the gig. Anyway she goes on about singing At Last again.
 
In the studio

I think it is fake and scripted part. Nicci gets Faith, Keke, Syleena and Monifah in the studio for a surprise.



Apparently she had written a song though she reminds us she has lost her passion for music. I roll my eyes - really? We all know Nicci is the executive producer (as well as Faith) so it's pretty much her show. Anyway she wants the girls to try the song which recognise as the theme tune for the show.

At this point on cue all girls start to moan about the conditions of their voices which still drinking booze.

Nicci is like they have all had too much greasy food and cocktails so it affects their voices. I don't really care because for all I know they may be pretending about singing badly.

And if they know they have big show why mess up their voices. Also it rings up true because if Syleena has being waiting 15 years for this opportunity I really doubt she'll be messing around. Come to think of it Keke as well. So maybe a bird whispered in their ears to create tension and drama for the audience they should complain about their voices. But come on these girls are pros and Essence Festival is not something to mess up.

Keke and family

The Wyatt family - that is Keke, baby, Micheal and Keke's brother are in a food joint and Keke is talking about doing the Essence Festival. She whines about the song choice and just about everything.



Micheal keeps it real. He tells her this is the Essence Festival. I mean every Tamar and Vince dedicated a whole episode to doing this Festival and Tamar didn't even sing!


t is a huge event the R&B calender. So Micheal is like if they were booked up after this she will be like super booked.


 He seems super happy about this opportunity - counting the money in his head since technically he's her manager.


Anyway as if one of the camera crew reminds Keke she needs to talk about her hoarse voice - she starts to whine about that too. At this point both Micheal and Keke's brother just look confused.

Sound check at the Essence Music Festival

Nicci waddles in wearing hots pants and starts to complain about the way the stage is set up. Yes, Madam Important goes into what Faith calls politely Nicci-director-mode but normal folk just call rude. Nicci is like this is set up for group.



Someone shouts that Nicci should leave the set alone because it's for the Queen, the Goddess of Soul - Miss Athera Franklin. Ops, that put Miss Nicci Smarty Pants in her place and Nicci keeps her trap shut and doesn't say much after that.

They start to do a sound check and the complaining goes on. Keke says she can't hear herself sing.


 Even Faith complains about the attitude of all the staff because they are all rushed off. We are lectured to by Monifah who tells us how important a sound check is to an artist. But the reality is no one really cares how either Nicci, Faith, Monifah or Keke will sound on the night because they had much bigger stars coming.


I thought they were treated like second class citizens but Faith Evans went one further to say she felt like a third class citizen. Ouch! Did you hear Faith say she might get Notorious? Was that a reference to behaviour or Biggie Smalls? Also did anyone notice that Nicci was silent throughout the complaining of the sound check?

Show time

Sisterhood or no sisterhood at show time I thought the singing really got competitive and it seemed the girls were trying to outdo each other.



Monifah sings Donna Summer tribute song 'Last Dance'

First up is Monifah. It's always difficult to start a set because you either kill the song - like do it very well and spoil it for everyone else or just do an okay performance. Well Monifah to me was okay - it was a Donna Summer tribute song 'Last Dance'.


At this point of writing I can't even remember her performance nor do I care. What I did think was why was she dressed in that sliver outfit with a hood. Like couldn't they find anything more suitable? She looked like she was caught in fashion time trap. It showed off her nice legs but she could have really lost the hood.

As generous as ever Monifah introduced Nicci who probably insisted on having her full name Nicci Gilbert Daniels. I bet Daniels must be long suffering husband.

Nicci kills it and owns the stage




As soon as Nicci steps on stage her competitiveness comes out and when all that fakeness about having singing passion issues stops. Nicci goes and kills it. She does not hold back in the song - she really goes for it with all the complicated notes.



I'm like isn't this the chick who didn't want to sing? No sir, Nicci is a very competitive singer so basically in my view it's probably why I can't remember Monifah performance. And I bet if Monifah knew Nicci was going to sing like that she probably would have turned it up a bit more. You can imagine Nicci fighting over all the vocals in Brownstone or dictating the way it should be sung. Don't her no passion for singing fool you.


Anyway as Nicci gets carries away showing off her vocal talent she forgets to introduce Syleena. Ouch, again. This isn't really good and I'm not sure why Nicci did this. Everyone knows this a huge night for Syleena because it's her first time to ever performance at the festival. It's a big deal to her.


I don't really feel Nicci's apology but maybe subcousiously Nicci didn't want to end her performance by calling someone else's name - fair enough. Anyway Syleena is unhappy and I think this may have affected her nerves. It's also what she said - she expected Nicci to behave like this so there are some underlying tensions in the group of women.


Syleena At Last - Etta James Tribute

Syleena does At Last and because Nicci had upped the singing stakes she does match Nicci vocally. She gave a great performance however it was still an old jazz number and it's really something to close a show with.

Also sometimes it's good to take a risk with a more modern song. I'm not casting any shade and Syleena did a great job on At Last, also it was a very sentimental song with meaning to her.


 At last she was at the Essence Festival but in the end it was just an old Etta James number. Basically a jazz standard which most singers can sing.

Faith Evans.

Not much to say about Faith only she matched Syleena and Nicci. However I don't remember what she sang.

Faith has great contacts in the music industry and she also appears a nice and positive person - I think it's real and genuine and not was edited by the show.




Keke does her thing



Keke came out and sang her own tribute and really did her own thing not to be outdone by any of the other women.




 She did a great job and got everyone dancing on the floor. Then the girls came out and closed the show with her.



Celebration Dinner and Keke feels left out

All four women minus Micheal have a celebration meal and out of the blue Nicci Gilbert tells us that her passion for singing is back.



Well blow me down with a feather. Is she for real? I think the whole 'lost passion for singing' issue was fake and phony. Nicci brought the house down and basking in glory till the point she forgets Syleena's name. Also Nicci is executive producer of this show I don't think she ever lost her passion however it's easy to see this show was a vehicle to showcase her new clothing brand Curvato which she mention again - just for you viewers as in that was what she was wearing on the Essence Festival stage.


They all jabber about boring stuff when Syleena is desperate for a comeback suggests why not they all go for a tour. This is when things become confusing. Nicci starts to complain about her brand and not wanting to be in a girl band.

 Keke feels left out and tells the girls this. Instead of them to acknowledged that they discussed it behind her back they just start to say she is negative.

Instead of picking on Keke why didn't Syleena bring up the way Nicci behaved on the night not introducing her. It's time like this Syleena looks like she is sucking up and brown nosing Nicci because she owns the show. 

 Keke is says this is why she doesn't like women because they do this. I understand where Keke is coming from. It seems because she is probably the youngest she might be left out of all the behind the scenes chatter. Also maybe she was last person invited on the show - we don't know how many singers were approached and declined to do this show. I think some just want to see how successful the show will be before they jump on the bandwagon.


So in Basketball Wives terms the inner circle is Nicci, Monifah, Syleena and Faith. Faith doesn't do much probably only there for her industry connection (getting the Essence Festival gig/spot). Nicci Gilbert probably doesn't have those contacts because she in a girl band that latest all but a minute. Be real everyone knows who Faith Evans is - even if just because of the whole Notorious B.I.G and Tupac drama - then factor in lil Kim complications.

 Monifah just hangs out and Syleena is so desperate to make it that she will do anything. Keke doesn't really care so sometimes she follows the so-called script and other times she does her. As Keke says - she knows she can sing.



Nicci goes all bible saying something about God and devil. I'm like is Nicci kidding me? All Keke is saying is that they left her out of all this tour business. And to be honest Keke has young children so touring will be difficult.

Anyway it comes let pick and bully Keke time. Monifah is like why does Keke play victim all the time and is like a drama queen. Excuse me, is Monifah for real?


Then Nicci crosses the line by saying all this 'leaving out' business is in Keke's mind however in the confessional one of them said (not sure who) they hadn't told Keke about the proposed tour. Anyway then Syleena adds her own two cent and I forget what she says.

The Nicci starts jabbering on about her brand and being in a group. Monifah goes on about them being a package not group.  At this point I tune out because I don't really care about whether they tour or not. And Keke seems to think the same as me so she walks out.

Nicci tells them she doesn't want to damage her brand because of Keke's behaviour. Anyway Syleena goes out to get Keke.


She gives Keke a pep talk and brings her back into the group. Smart ass Nicci not learning her lesson asks Keke what's on her agenda. Keke looks at her and says to kill herself. If Nicci asks a stupid question she'll get a silly answer.

Nicci not one to take a hint asks Keke what next. Keke says 'Get buried.' Now that shuts Nicci the heifer up.

To lighten the tension Faith comes in the confessional saying 'We will always be sisters' BS. Anyway to end the evening on a good note Faith gives a toast but Keke doesn't play along with it because she isn't getting that so called sisterhood feeling because when it comes to her turn to toast she is 'get my life together... in a bag'. Keke has a strange dry sense of humour - does she mean body bag?


And there it ends. Everyone happy and Keke just looking depressed and miserable. 





  

Wednesday 3 October 2012

R&B Divas Season 1 Episode 7: Nicci's Curvato, Faith's hair gel and beaming Brandy (Nicci's baby girl) keep it going. Terez acts shy and Keke lays down vocals for Avant's track.

Dear Readers, I apologise for the lateness and delay in writing this.  It's very busy at my work and I also attend a college course, hence the delay. So apologies again.




R&B Divas - no cat-fights, no ratchetness (apart from the promoter) and not bitching - this show was nearly one long yawn yet again. However I see a lot of suppressed anger in the show and I feel the girls are not being true. Come on, who doesn't bitch about other people? I'm not as bad as Evelyn Lozada or Tami but when I get angry I'm Ghetto 101. Don't get me wrong I like positive reality shows but I also like them to realistic, real and keeping it 100 percent.

Actually worse it was an hour long infomercial, commercial and advert for Faith Evan's hair gel and Nicci Glibert's Curvato clothing line . I do like to celebrate other people's successes but this was just plain advertising. More Nicci than Faith though each one was plugging a line.Sorry guys One TV is so late with their updates I can't give you a name to Faith's hair product.


Nicci in Kitchen with Brandy

Another staged and fake scene starring Madam Nicci Glibert. Nicci is in the kitchen asking Brandy her daughter what exactly is she doing regarding work. Cue - a new issue - teenager or young unemployed adult issue.



This issue is so all the mothers with lazy unemployed grown children can relate. Brandy, sweet girl, plays her part and gives some silly line about job hunting for all of three weeks.  We are not told what exactly Brandy is qualified to do - high school diploma, college graduate or just a lazy bum? Just that the honey child is looking for a job.


Nicci then asks Brandy what does she want to do (as in career). Brandy tells her exactly what most girls want - she wants to work in fashion. At which point, surprise, surprise Nicci has an opening for an intern. She tells the girl she needs to work hard and should expect no favours. At first Brandy thinks she is going be a model to walking the catwalk runway but Nicci is no so Brandy decides to be a stylist.





At the same time I get to know there is a New York fashion week for fat chicks.   Wow! I thought skinnies and fatties all did the same New York Fashion Week but apparently not. Seems strange but we find out that Nicci's line has been invited to take part in the Full Figure New York Fashion week.

Without shade, it does make sense because fashion week is primarily for store buyers and those who get stuff straight off the catwalk. Anyway within a twinkle of the eye, Brandy gets a job which she is passionate about.


Hair Gel and Faith Evans.

Faith is launching a new hair gel.


Yawn, I'm not one for brands on hair products. I just use whatever is okay within my price range. Not much you can say about hair gel to be honest. It's a bit like hair conditioner or shampoo. However I'm on the look for a good relaxer.



Faith and her hair dresser business partner toss to their new venture of hair gel.  

 

Team Nicci Gilbert Operation Curvato.

Nicci sits down with her new team - Brandy and Jakeem.



Brandy is all dolled and made up for the camera with some supercool earring looking really bored. We know she'd be rather hanging out with her friends but hey - mama said she needed to do this to inspire and motivate other lazy unemployed teens/young adults.
 

 Nicci's personal assistant Jakeem just looks confused. I think is another staged scene.
Anyway a good five minutes of our time is wasted watching these young kids (Brandy and Jakeem) who'd rather be on facebook or twitter, getting Nicci's event's dates mixed up. Even now I'm not sure Brandy and Jakeem totally got the what date the Curves and Cocktails reception was on and what day the actual fashion show was. Who cares really?


Shining star Brandy with Team Nicci Gilbert Operation Curvato.

At first Nicci is excited about doing her first fitting as a designer but you know Nicci can't be too happy for long without finding something wrong. So...


 Nicci does her fitting as is complaining as usual about something. This time it's the size of the models. They are too slim. She wanted heavy thick set mamas. She moans about how tiny their waist's and shoulders are.
 
 
 This I think is for cameras as well because in the world of fashion there are sample sizes. Even for plus size models there will be a sample size  (sample size just means sample) - so I think this is just for the cameras. Nicci proceeds to stuff out the model's shoulders with tissue paper - I think she send Brandy to toilet to get them.


 Nothing really happens apart from how after moaning Nicci tells us how talented and hard working Brandy. I like Brandy but it was too much. However if your mother can't sing your praises who can?


Shining star Brandy does issues with Akemi

Brandy to help out Mummy Nicci's show decides to do her own issues. What a trooper! So she meets up with Akemi (Monifah's daughter) for some girly chat.



After talking about fashion, college and normal girly stuff,  Brandy suddenly remembers she needs to do the issues - parts. So out of the blue she comes out she wants to do a non-profit organisation for kids/young adults with issues. There is Nicci doing a voice-over saying she hopes both Akemi and Brandy will bond.

Okay.  Akemi and probably the rest of us think where is this going. It just seemed random - then she goes on to say Nicci is her adopted mum but really her cousin. (Great job Nicci- really kind to do that) She brought her up as her own since her own mother was a drug addict and alcoholic - hmmm... uncomfortable moment because we all know so was Monifah. Are these two young women going to bond over issues? I hope not. I hope it's because they really get along. Akemi doesn't say much and seems she is not really with this conversation.


Fair play to Akemi -  her mother Monifah goes on blast about her lifestyle and now some other chick wants to bond over issues when Akemi probably just wants to get on with her life.




Full Figure Fashion Week meet up.



Nicci with her new fashion assistant Brandy meets up with two of full figure fashion organisers to discuss boring stuff.

There Nicci finds out about Syleena and the promoter Kim on face book. Nicci blames Syleena saying she's never had a problem with Kim. Well would you take on Nicci? No and I doubt Kim would. Syleena is softer and less organised or mouthy than Nicci.

40/40 - Nicci Gilbert is disrespectful and picks on Syleena

The girls without Micheal meet up in Jay-z's bar and  they all go on a massive congratulations trip to Nicci who tells them all about how great her brand Cruvato is. Also how brilliant Brandy is and how she has flair for all things fashion - I that was it. Not too sure so I might be making that up.

At some point Faith Evans offers to take Brandy to see some stylist who did Bad Boys artists but now owns her fashion school. I'm like why can't Brandy apply to go to a proper college to study fashion? You know - like one based on her GPA. It looks like Faith Evans is just promoting her friend's school.




Anyway Nicci goes on to discuss the promoter saying it was wrong what Syleena did. I'm surprised at Nicci. Syleena is an adult and Nicci has no right to talk to Syleena like that. It's disrespectful and I don't think Nicci sees herself.  I don't care if Nicci is the technically Syleena's boss on the show - you know as executive producer. She only talks to Syleena like that because she can - I haven't heard her speaking to Faith Evans like that. Syleena is swallowing a lot of humble pie just to make a comeback. Shame on Nicci Gilbert.



 

The thing is both Syleena's crew and the promoter were unprofessional and I think us viewers were just annoyed it didn't get ratchet enough to go down to blows or a cat-fight. Anyway they play Syleena saying the mic was wack and from a dollar store. So what? Syleena is an adult is responsible for her words and actions.



Nicci is like most performers carry their own mic. So what? Yes, we know for hygiene reasons since some singers then to spray theirs as they sing. But I didn't really see Nicci's point on picking on Syleena.  Not when ratchet Kim Turney the promoter had already gone on facebook to do the dirty on Syleena. Anyway everyone agrees Nicci is in the wrong since she wasn't there so she does a quick back track on the situation.However they call it an altercation? Isn't that like a fight? I didn't see no fight there.


Hair gel launch with Faith

Faith has a launch for her hair gel brand. It's the same old same old claims other gels have- no flaking, no white streaks not horribleness.


 This is something new. Well whatever, I spotted doing gel waves back in the early 1990s.But to all those of you who use hair gel maybe you should try it out.


 The real drama is when Jakeem and two women get stuck in the lift elevator. So I'm thinking was the weight exceeded the limit. You know the sign in the elevator where it says not more than ten people or 800lbs? Maybe Jakeem with those two women exceeded the maximum weight.


The firefighters are called out to rescue them and Nicci is flapping like hen again worrying about Jakeem. Tell the boy to go on a diet.


What made me laugh was Keke who said couldn't Jakeem allow the women to be rescused of of the elevator first. Keke has a point.  For all of Faith Evan's hair gel we remember Fat Boy Jakeem stuck in the elevator.
 
 
Keke Wyatt and Avant in the studio


Keke goes with Micheal to the studio to see Avant who gave Keke her first break. Why does Micheal wear those silly shirts with ties? Can't they get a stylist for the man - he looks like a geek.




 Who wears causal shirts untucked (as in hanging out) with a tie and docker or jeans - it looks so strange and is frankly scruffy. If you want to wear a tie with a shirt - please tuck in the shirt and don't leave it hanging out.  Maybe we should get Brandy to practise her styling on him. Well if Keke allows it. The man needs to dress either normal or stylish but not this strange combination of bad taste.

There is a lot of chat about nothing. Keke lays down her vocal on the track in one take and it's a wrap.


Have a listen to the track. I think's its worth all the hype. It's called  You & I.

Avant feat. Keke Wyatt - You & I

What makes it a hit track again was the fact that Keke could come and feel the song and sing her part in one take. It means it was instinctive.


Anyway Keke thanks Avant for giving the break and opportunity he gave her. I think it was a big moment because she was publicly acknowledging Avant helped her.


 And maybe it seemed that might have misunderstanding or she appeared ungrateful at some point - I don't know - just the way she said she'd never said thank and now she was.

Terez and Monifah go shopping.

Terez is an amazon with a booty to match - she is big girl but only because of her height she carries it well. She is a fine and pretty woman when you strip all that attitude from her. I can't stand her dreadlocks but that's me. She is far more feminine than I thought  and you could see she was only doing this because of Monifah. I think this is another styling project for little Brandy to do.


Okay, I'm still not sure about Monifah because she seems like a demanding child. On the other hand Terez seems quite sensitive and shy too. Not one to put her business out there so I just hope she doesn't get hurt in the long run.

Now for the issues - is this to show us how gay women live normal lives? It's really just two women shopping in a store and catching up on gossip.   My point is that people are people and Terez and Monifah are a boring couple - gay or not. I mean  it's not like they are down a club and getting into some ratchet behaviour - like say bumping into a ex and a catfight follows - this is about as interesting as drinking a coffee - boring.



Anyway Monifah is talking her usual whiny talk  - I think it's about marriage or something and Terez is acting real shy and awkward. They are both in a store shopping for clothes they don't probably need. Nothing really comes of it - only about living together and going for the next step. 


  Okay another set of issues (gay marriage - to commit or not) for Monifah to whine about to others.



 No shade. I bet tall guys still and pick up Terez with that body of hers.



Faith Evans, Brandy and the Stylist

Aunty Faith drags Trooper Brandy is this celebrity stylist chick school. Just out of interest I get confused with the term celebrity stylist - does this mean the person is a celebrity who is a stylist or just a stylist who styles celebrity. The same for hair-dressers and others who add celebrity to their job title. Why not Stylist to the stars?

 

The celebrity stylist who is botoxed up starts off by saying they teach the business side of styling and also it's about bringing out your client's own style (what if they have no style?) and integrating it with your own.

 Wow. I think what she  means it you make your client look good but in your own way so no one can copy you. This is probably why we have celebrities who look like clones because they all use the same stylist.



Brandy just beams and gushes and really says nothing memorable. Faith Evans chips in that styling is more than shopping and putting an outfit together.

Actually shopping is quite important ask Tameka Raymond who recently got her store cards instantiated by the her ex-husband Usher Raymond via the courts. And Emma B from Love and Hip Hop New York just seems to be showing off her wardrobe most of the time. 


Then Brandy makes a sensible comment - she wants to learn to sew and have her own fashion line - Curvato for Teens? Oh well the woman goes on to say they teach students about fabric etc. It's getting boring now.

Sensible Brandy then talks about money here Faith Evans assures her than once she is willing everything will be paid for. Brandy nods and her  beam grows like the sunrise.

 Curvato Fashion Show Day.


Curvato Clothing's fashion day arrives and it's impressive. There is a long queue to get in but as the girls are VIP they walk straight in.


As usual Nicci Gilbert starts drama where there is no drama. She moans about the playing the wrong music and she moans about other stuff too. She praises beaming Brandy who seems to be working back stage.


On front row are all the girls though I can't see any celebs. The show is goes well despite Nicci fussing it's the wrong track. Nothing much to say.



Nicci and Brandy take a bow at the end.





BBQ time at Faith Evans' Mama's house



All the girls come to Faith's party where she has all her family.

 
 Monifah and Keke bring their partners with them. As I said I don't think Micheal really had a problem with Terez I think that was just for the show.



Miss Wallace comes to the birthday BBQ. This appearance has different levels of meaning and messages - Basically  Faith is on good terms with her deceased husband's mother.


 Miss Wallace seems to know Keke and admires the baby. Keke gets very shy about it.


Faith Evans drops a good surprise that the girls have been invited to sing at the Essence Festival on the front stage. The girls are excited about this and Keke starts to cry. Syleena and Keke have never been invited to perform at the Essence Festival in New Orleans.

With no disrespect at this point one wonders if Keke and Syleena were not really major stars but just one hit wonders?

Who thinks Brandy should be given the task of styling all these women? I do.

  

The case of $95 million, Mel Tucker, Willy Bo-bo and inappropriate sexual conducts on the telephone.

Mel, Mel, Mel. It's tough. Mr Tucker. I discussed this case with someone and it's shame. It's a shame that it came to that. List...