Tuesday 11 September 2012

R&B Divas Season 1 Episode 4: Nicci whines, Keke talks, Syleena talks more, and Monifah cries about her issues in son

The foolishness continues and  the drama seems exaggerated and staged for the cameras. Whether the Divas are doing this themselves I'm not too sure.  What exactly was this week about? Nothing really happened this week and these girls need to loosen up because this show is dull and boring - they might start to see rating drop. And what's with Monifah's purple hair tint? I might have left out bit I slept through.

Keke, baby and handbag Micheal go for a Big Jim session

Keke Wyatt and her husband handbag Micheal haul their new born baby to see Big Jim who probably couldn't get a slot on Love and Hip Hop because he was either too old or respectable. Take your pick. Anyway nothing much happens apart from Keke showing off her vocal abilities. They discuss her range and she is  like she was 12 octaves but with six kids (does the new one make it seven?) she has dropped an octave or two.


 Big Jim suggests she could use a vocal coach since which may improve her range. Keke is like heck no - she's being singing since she was two and is now 30. What exactly is a vocal coach going to teach her? Ignorance like this is why she is partly a has-been. Handbag Micheal is more diplomatic and says it might help.

Big Girls meet Uncle Jim



Next Nicci Gilbert, Syleena Johnson and Monifah meet with Big Jim for a song writing session. Big Jim starts saying about how women relating them (how does he know? Let's face it his claim to fame Mariah anit so hot nowadays).


 Anyroad Monifah starts to ball and cry a river. Is that chick frigging serious? It just seems attention seeking to me.


Even Nicci Glibert is looking confused and WTF is wrong with this woman.


 Anyway Syleena taps into Monifah's pain and writes a verse with melody. At some point  Dr Phil Syleena analyses and says it's because of how Big Jim reaches people. I'm like if that's the case shouldn't the dude be a preacher or something.  Syleena is nodding her head like in fake sympathy.

Nicci clearing struggling doesn't want to be there and still has her WTF face on. Soon enough we find out that Nicci doesn't do group session work. Syleena doesn't really care and Monifah was probably taken back her 'issues' group therapy session hence the tears.

Finally Nicci writes a verse and sings but Big Jim tells her it's cliche, old and wack (show me a hit single that isn't cliche - Rihanna? Beyonce? Please, even Mariah does cliche). Okay so Big Jim has drawn the war lines and Nicci isn't amused.


He tells Nicci, he and Mariah made a hit song in six minutes. Who cares about Mariah? I love Mariah but this show ain't about Mariah. Nicci doesn't really care after all she said she was a Grammy nominated songwriter or something like that.  Anyway Nicci goes on to say it looks like a Monifah-Syleena moment.
 Anyway it gets boring because we know Big Jim and Nicci have issues with each other and Monifah just has issues.

Diner catch up with Micheal, Keke, Nicci and Syleena


They meet up to discuss this with Keke and Micheal and baby in a dinner. Nicci thinks maybe she should have a session with Big Jim like Keke. Maybe Keke had her own session because baby needed a routine? Anyway know-it-all Syleena lays into Nicci about not being open - I don't really care so I fast forward.

Nicci reports to Faith on irrelevant BS
 

 A lot more irrelevant stuff happens like Nicci reporting back to Faith about Big Jim. Nicci is like she lacks the passion for singing and Faith doesn't really say much apart from she is going to be doing some Gay Pride thing down in DC.

Group plus Micheal meet up at Big Jim


They all meet at Big Jim's studio again with handbag Micheal in tow. Faith invites them to visit her in DC. Keke is unhappy to be left out and Micheal doesn't say much.


Something happens and Nicci Gilbert walks out. Again. Is she the walker-outer of the show? What's with the attitude. Is it just me that thinks that sometimes Nicci looks her age then she looks about sixty?

All go by grey hound upgrade to DC except Nicci who did want to bus it.

Anyway Faith arranges a Winnebago tour bus to take them on the trip. Keke turns up with Micheal holding the new baby - I'm like where are the other six Wyatt kids? Who is looking after them? Nicci rings to say she's ill and the others don't believe her.Whatever it's not a big deal. She probably thought it was best to hop on flight rather than spend a few hours with Mon-'issues'-fah, Know-All Syleena and comedy act Keke and Micheal. Plus a screaming newborn on board. Too much so I don't blame Nicci at all.



Drag Queens pick on Michael - the only dude wearing a tie to a cabaret night.

At some point Monifah arranges a drag night of impersonators of the girls - just so show how famous they are. Micheal is picked on by the compereDrag Queen /MC. He thinks because he looks out of place - I reckon it was the tie and blue shirt that did it - who wears that on a night?


Also I think Micheal 'homophobic' issue is exaggerated for the camera. I doubt he cares about other men's preferences once they don't hit on him. He also shares a seat with Monifah's manly looking lover. Don't they make a cute couple?



Anyway the compere/MC makes fun of him which Micheal  takes in his easy going way.

Talking issues in the diner again without Nicci but with Micheal


Anyway the all end up in some dinner and Keke is saying how Monifah, Queen of Issues motivated her to go to talk someone.

Good for her. Also how she didn't think she'd bond with anyone but see Monifah as a big sister. They all think it's good Keke can finally speak to women about her issues. At this point I don't really care.

Gay Pride and Faith Evans


We cut to Faith's event at the venue and Nicci Gilbert coming in. All the others ignore her which is childish given their ages (I excuse Keke and Micheal because they are about ten years younger). It's a bit uncomfortable with Syleena legs akimbo texting on her blackberry.

Later on a hot and sweaty Faith Evans comes on stage doing her thing. Bored? So was I by the end of it.

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