R&B Divas Season 1 Episode 5: Nicci and her Mama, Monifah wants a Terez's baby, Keke wants to be Monifah and Terez's baby's auntie, Micheal goes missing from the group, Nicci bonds with her mother and Faith goes away again.

Another episode of mostly petty bickering, squabbling and immaturity. I must declare I have an issue with one woman carrying another woman's baby so I go have a rant about that.  It just seems silly and quite invasion on the so called 'beloved' partner. IVF is quite invasive and not as easy as people think so when Monifah is talking about carrying Terez's baby I shake my head. It's not like Terez can't carry hers unless there is a medical reason. I find it silly so I do go on about it a bit.

It seemed there might have been some battles behind the scene because Syleena and Monifah got a bit more air time to show us about their zero careers. I'm blogging this at work mind so I'm just going through the bits that came to mind. It's more in character order than than how it was on the show.

Syleena Johnson finally gets her own 'issues/storyline time

Syleena and her team (mostly Sister-manager). 

We open with Team Syleena sitting at dining table discussing her career. OK. It's Kalie Redd all over again but in this case I agree Syleena did have a career - not just a booty hustle. So Syleena bleating on about her management (her sister and some other dude) and housing issues. It seems that Syleena has money issues so made the move from Chicago to Atlanta for her career. I'm not too sure if this is true or a story line because for someone with financial difficulty she seems to have a large entourage around her.  

Anyway Madam Syleena's issue is money and her branding. May I also add her ego. Anyway Syleena's sister manages her and if you have a sister/brother it's very hard to tell them they can't have champagne tastes on beer money. Or they are just real day-dreaming and keeping it real. 

Syleena is displeased because things have being chaotic with her other co-manager so dude Keith Douglas. He comes in grinning like some shady drug dealer and Syleena lays into him about not having him on speed dail. Apparently it's his assistant that has being dealing with her but he never speaks to her. You see that pretty much show Syleena how important she is.

Anyway the man apologies because in the end with this appearance he gets his name out there. Then he does something which I find odd - he closes the meeting with a prayer. I'm like this is a business meeting where I always feel in matters financial or money I keep to this in mind  -And Jesus answering said unto them, Render to Caesar the things that are Caesar's, and to God the things that are God's. And they marveled at him. Mark 12:17. I never trust people who bring religion into business unless it's a religious business. Just me.  

Shady looking Keith Douglas dumps Syleena  via email

Syleena has a meeting with her sister-manager. Sister-Manager tells Syleena that Keith Douglas sent an email terminating their contract with her. 

I think he  probably thought she was too high maintenance and demanding without bringing anything  receipts. I means was acting like a Diva.  

Anyway after downing some hard liquor and wine Syleena says she is glad that Keith is gone and she  is confident her Sister-Manager can do it all alone. After all sister-manager has being working with Syleena for over ten years. That is the problem - where is Syleena's career now?

Then it gets worse apparently Sister-Manager also has a full time job teaching in a New York College. So when exactly does she have the time to do all this managing? She has a life, teaching, marking, attending college meetings etc. We can see why Syleena is a non-brand with zero career. Mean - I don't care. But then who knows what exactly is true. 
Anyway sister-manager tells Syleena that she has arranged a photo-shoot for her album and press. Uh huh. 

Syleena's diva attitude at photo-shot 

Syleena carries her ego to the photo shoot and it seems chaotic. There were no shoes and accessories and apparently the clothes were for a thin hoochie mama. So Syleena gives some attitude and walks out. At first I was surprised and thought she should have tried to work with it. 

After all it's about her career but afterwards I thought it was a non-event - like a set-up that was planned and planted in the show for a build up. Why? Because not even Syleen would be silly enough to behave like that if she wanted to build up her career - she would have probably rushed to the store to get the stuff. Also her sister-manager and stylist would have been there. But it built dramatic tension. 

Syleena's successful photoshoot

There is another photo shoot which runs smoothly and in a nicer place. Clan Johnson (her two bickering sisters - I mean real sisters not the Divas) turns out to support Syleena. 

The sister-managers introduces herself as Dr whatever. She is a PHD not medical. It was nice but very boring. Syleena doing the Diva thing again saying she couldn't work under those conditions. 

I thinks she should have being wearing a corset, shape wear or something. From the side she just looked awkward and not in proportion  in that Monifah-purple-hair outfit. I wasn't feeling it.  Anyway it will be photoshopped so not a big deal.

Team Syleena and moving house.

Not sure how relevant Syleena moving house is but there was a scene for other women to identity  with where she runs in the get a shower cap because it is raining. That weave must be either expensive or cheap - not sure because I know both Rihanna and Beyonce swim in theirs. And so does Naomi Campbell. So water does not hurt weaves - just depends on the type and quality. 

Just occurred to me for a woman whose issues is money she does have a big entourage. I mean even her stylist was on hand to help her move. Anyway Syleena gets a call from sister-manager about a gig singing with some basketball team and says it's okay to invite some of the Divas along. 

Queen of Issues, Monifah 

Monifah gets some quality time with the camera focusing on her career. Yes, another career one.   Monifah acts very young.  I'm not sure if that's her storyline but it's not cute as she isn't ten or Honey Boo Boo Child.  She is not even the youngest of the group.  

Monifah: Her latest issue is baby or career?

She meets up with Faith who seems more a guest than a regular on the show to talk about her career. What career? This seems like a Kylie Redd moment all over again. Remember Love and Hip Hop's Zerozino and No receipts Kalie Redd banging on about careers - I swear R&B Divas may have even used the same restaurant.  

Anyway Monifah is yapping on about getting her zero career started again and Faith is looking all sympathetic but probably as bored as we are. Then the silly moo - I mean heifer or Monifah also drops she wants to have a baby.  OK. That seems logical as she has being whining on about babies from the Keke Wyatt's baby shower show but you all know there is a catch.

 Nothing is really that simple in Monifah's life. After confessing to be a loser mother - well deadbeat mom - she empathises that her lover Terez  (is that like short for Teresa?) is missing out on having a biological child. It's never simple on Planet Monifah so she wants to implant Terez's egg/ova and carry it. Ewww.... is what I think. 

 Secondly WTF. Why can't Terez carry her own baby - let her go get pregnant. We get former-women-now-transgender-men getting their wombs in action and getting pregnant so why can't Terez . Okay we can see some real control issues in that relationship. If Terez wants a baby she can do it the old fashion way with a turkey baser and sperm juice - even groupies do that with ballers' sperm. It's always about drunken nights those husler chicks have methods and ways!
Later on Monifah goes and books some time at the studio. Okay now we know she is going to be singing.  

Monifah and Group Meeting with all Divas but no Micheal. 

For lack of a better place I'm putting this bit in Monifah's part. I think this is the only show were the cast members actually eat on camera. At least we know no eating disorders. 

For all the times I've seen Love and Hip Hips or basket balls Wives in a restaurant I've never seen a plate of food in front of them. Just booze, liquor or alcohol. Those girls work hard to keep their weight down - these chicks don't care. 

Wearing hideous yellow earrings with SEXY logo, Syleena tells the girls her sister had managed to get them a gig singing for some basketball club. It's like setting a cat among pigeons because the issues over take and it starts the arguments. 

Faith as usual is going to be out of town. OK. Why does she even bother come up but as co-executive producer and one of the more famous one (Nicci Gilbert is next) I think she needs to make an appearance so it pulls in an audience. 

Nicci Gilbert - starts with her lame - 'I have issues' singing for passion. OK. I think she also has better things to and is not for singing in some basketball arena. I don't take her seriously any more because it's such a lame excuse and she is co-executive producer of this show. It's also an easy and uncontroversial storyline. 

Monifah Carter manages to shove in four forks full of food in her mouth before ongoing on blast Monifah goes on blast about too much separation with the group and it just seems too staged because less face it these women are all attention seekers so if one person quits it means more stage and vocals for them. No one really cares. She goes on about unity blah blah blah and eventually I tune out (I do that a lot during this show).  

They get my attention back when Keke, Monifah and Syleena agree to do it. Keke had conditions that the Wyatt tribe could come as well- yes that mean Micheal as well. 

OMG! Michael is missing from the group.

With the basketball gig settled everyone realises that Keke has forgotten her handbag sorry I mean husband Michael. Okay maybe not forgotten but she's alone. I begin to suspect that Micheal and Keke 'joined-at-hip' thing is something for this show.  I think Keke is probably the wisest and most intelligent of all of them even though she can be a brat and act very spoilt. Let's face it she has six/seven kids and is on her second husband. 

She must have some sense. I also think the whole gay issue with Michael is a set-up and untrue.  Anyway Keke says she misses Micheal - I do too because he does make these boring diva-meeting interesting. But knowing Keke she probably breathed a sigh of relief and is happy to leave Micheal at home with the kids and changing new baby Wyatt's diaper/nappies. 
Monifah goes into her baby thing and Keke tells her that her brother too wants a baby. Not all a 24/7 responsibility - spoken like a true man but just something to carry on his genes. Monifah isn't impressed and even though Keke's brother is fine and very talented she would rather get some random sperm donor. She politely says no however Nicci spots a new issue - how can Monifah handle both a child and a career. Whatever.  Let's say Nicci has a short chat with Monifah in a park.

 Terez and Monifah do Skpe

Last thing I remember is Monifah skyping butch Terez about the baby issues. Terez doesn't see what the issue is - many women are pregnant and work but she is like it's up to Monifah. I see a power imbalance in that relationship. Why can't  Terez carry her own baby. I mean she is a woman, right?

 Why spend all that cash, have complications because this Terez heifer wants to behave like a man. She want to give her ovum for Monifah to carry - let make it crude is basically wants Monifah to carry her baby - that is such a male thought and it's so past penis-envy that I'm done.  Unless the chick has had a hysterectomy or has female problems there is no reason for Monifah to carry. 

Monifah had dependencies issues and Terez just seems an thing for Monifah to act out her issues. Anway I was done when silly heifer moo-moo Monifah told her I love you and Terez said 'I love you back.' WTF is that all about. Can't she just say 'I love you too.'  I won't be surprised if Monifah met a man and swapped again. That's the sort of vibe I get of Monifah - whatever she's into at the moment. So all in all Terez may have the power but Monifah is fickle and could move on.

Quickly as the idea appeared to Monifah it went and all of a sudden Monifah for some reason didn't want to have a baby anymore so not sure if it were part of the show and Trez just played along. Still my rant stands.  

Nicci Gilbert resolves her issues. 

 It seems Nicci's missing singing passion which is wrapped up in three scenes where suddenly she discovers her passion. It starts with Big Jim, then her mother and ends in a nice sing-song with Mama Nicci, Big Jim and Nicci. There is some bald guy there as well. 

Big Ole Jim and Nicci talk issues.
Nicci meets with Big Jim in some random shaded yard-type place - sort of Latin themed. They talk a lot but I don't remember what about so can't be too interesting.   However I do remember Big Jim calling her eccentric - codeword for difficult or mad take your pick.

Then Nicci talks and talks and  I've sort of tuned out again. Big Jim doesn't really care but Big Jim's in-house vocal coach did say this was  the reason why these Divas had zero careers and were has-been -  their egos and an unwillingness to listen to the professional. Very true observation.

 Anyway I think time was running out so in order to meet his next appoint - and because I have to go home too because I blogging in the office. He said it got it. Good for him because I still don't get it but nor do I care. Nicci then tells us what - 'got it' means. Like I give a hoot.

 Anyway  Big Jim pulls out all the stops and tells Nicci he has a surprised for her. She gets to work with some man who she worked with on 'If you Love Me' - on of my favourite songs. She raves about how good this guy is and how he will bring out her passion etc. Whatever. 

Nicci Gilbert and Mama Nicci have lunch
Nicci invites Mama Nicci for lunch.  Nicci takes after her daddy cause heifer is like twice her Mama's size in height, width and girth.

  She bleats on about her passion then gets a bit teary - I might be making that bit up but whatever.

 The big emotion moment (ya'll know the drill by now if you've watched more than three seasons of any African American reality show ) when Nicci reveals (the same in most those reality shows) that Mama gave up her dream as  a promising Jazz singer for Nicci and her sister. Also to sing with Mama will bring on Nicci's passion. I said I was nearly over this program. Did I cry? Heck, no I didn't but it was a nice moment.  

Mama Nicci is touched and accepts the invitation. She is glad that Nicci thinks of her not only as a mother but as a person and professional/artist in her own right.

Studio sing-song time with Nicci, Big Ole Jim and Mama Nicci - also some random skinhead/shaven. 

Nicci, Big Jim and Mama are sitting down with some guy at the piano sipping white wine or champagne. That might be shaven dude might be the famous guy but I don't know his name. So let's say he's just industry famous. Nicci gives her story about the song - same old stuff about mother giving up all for her kiddies. We get good mother and bad mother stories - never just ordinary mother stories.

So then Nicci brings out the song she wrote for she and Mama Nicci to sing. Same old song about issues. Nicci sings but then Mama opens her mouth and sings. She's okay with the build up I was expecting something amazing. She's not like an undiscovered talent or anything. She seems a good singer. What do I know I just blog and make these show relevant.

Big Jim approves and everyone is happy. I think Nicci Gilbert issues of singing without passion has been cured.  What will be her next issue? I mean it's only episode 5 unless the others take over. Monifah has plenty.
Keke Wyatt, Monifah and Syleena Johnson sing.

Reheasals first.

We see the three stooges (even Micheal calls them that) practicing.  

As ususal in this show they are arguing over harmonies and melodies.   Uninteresting so I'ma moving on.

 Big Night at the basketball game.
The day comes for all three: Keke Wyatt, Monifah and Syleena to sing - don't ask me who's playing because I don't know nor do I care it - anit exactly Superbowl.

They do look kind of messy (I mean in appearance) like they made no effort at all. The Wyatt family come in full force with Michael at the helm.

They sing nicely so nothing much to say but it is a boring and dull way to end the show.