Basketball Wives Season 4 Episode 3: Suzie talks dirty, Tami seeks therapy, Kenya is just a hot mess and we learn 'apple pie face'
So the ghettoo hoodrat element of stomping, punching and spitting has taken a backseat this Basketball Wives episode 3. Not even a glass was broken accidentally. I'm not even sure I heard a cuss-word, sorry, I forget Kenya Bell did say Kesha Nichols shouldn't p*ss her off. We don't consider Suzie Ketcham's vulgar and crude mouth cussing - she uses clinical and anatomical words. The Basketball Wives were remarkably tame this show.
Previously on Basketball Wives:Kenya Bell getting down and dirty in homemade music videos, Suzie Ketcham and Bougie Princess Jennifer Williams keep on bitching, Chad Ochocinco Johnson and Evelyn Lozada chat about threesomes, marriage and monogamy
I noticed Bougie/Booji Princess Jennifer Williams wasn't in it. The favourite phrase of the episode was work in progress. Everyone was claiming to be one. Also I'm not buying into Kenya Bell being a 'hot mess'. I think the woman has a game plan for Basketball Wives. Anyway let's start.
Tami Roman and Evelyn Lozada
This scene is really to tell us the viewers that these women have/or are dating rich ballers/athletes and therefore unlike us lesser mortals they have to behave differently and expect different standards.
Tami Roman and Evelyn meet to talk about Chad. What is more to know about this man? Two chicks cosy up for the fake BFF girlfriend chat about special men namely athletes like Chad because it seems only Evelyn is getting some cardinal action on this show.
We learn that American basketball and football athletes are special kind of breed of men who can't control their sexual urges. They are like dogs who will hump at anything that takes their fancy. Ballers can't be faithful and will cheat.
Wise owl Tami Roman tells Evelyn that Chad is an athlete and he is not going to live like a hermit - I think she means monk. Hermits can do what they want =- they just live away from society - monks have taken vows of celibacy (no sex - not even self pleasure).
I notice Evelyn is wearing her favourite off duty - baseball style military cap. We learn that big ole Chad has a soft side and he is a therapist for everyone mostly females now(now all together - isn't that so sweet). Let's call him Uncle Chad Ochocinco Johnson. What kind of therapy does Uncle Chad offer now? Lean on me?
There is a fakeness about this scene because Evelyn Lozada probably knows more about dating athletes than Tami Roman and there is nothing new Tami Roman can tell Evelyn Lozada about professional ballers - the girl probably wrote the book on it. Remember both Tami and Evelyn were with Tami's ex Kenny Anderson (whom she is still riding the wave on his name but Evelyn Lozada has soooooo moved on from him!)
Anyway Evelyn is a wise, savvy and smart chick and doesn't need any advice from Tami Roman but hey I guess both are business women and this scene is in their basketball wives contract.
So we learn ballers or athelete as the women on the show like to call them have a different set of balls from normal men. They are pre-programed to cheat. So if you date a high baller expect him to make full use of his balls! Anyway, who really cares who Chad sleeps with? Just imagine the scene if Evelyn was to walk in on him, wow!
Let's face it Evelyn Lozada knows a lot more about professional ballers/ athletes that Tami Roman ever will. .so I'm not sure the point of this scene.
Evelyn Lozada, Suzie Ketcham, Kenya Bell and Kesha Nichols
We start with Evelyn Lodaza with Suzie Ketcham checking out the new recruits Kenya Bell and Kesha Nichols. It's a sort of interview thought this time Kesha doesn't seem to think so - maybe because Evelyn comes over more friendly than the her frienemy the Booji/Bougie Princess Jennifer Williams.
This boring scene all we get is the Evelyn Lozada takes offense to Kenya Bell's weave. It is a weave? Is it a wig? It is a super furry animal nesting on Kenya Bell's head. We are no wiser but Evelyn Lozada has decided she doesn't like her (thinks Kenya is a bit lost and needs to find herself - whatever) and thinks Kesha is way more cooler.
Suzie Ketcham talks like she is obsessed with penises/di*ks and phallic symbols. Everything upright looks like a penis/di*k to Suzie. It's not original. It's not cute. It's not smart. It just makes Suzie look like attention seeker or a sexually frustrated woman. It get worse Suzie then show Evelyn and Kesha a a picture of a penis/di*k. How old is Suzie Ketcham? Attention seeking for sure.
Just look at the shocked look on Kenya Bell's face!
Evelyn ignores her but Kesha Nichols is irritated with the penis/d*ck talk - remember what Evelyn said about Keshia Nichols getting jilted by San Antonio's Richard Jefferson - because she probably didn't give something? I do agree with her though and think Suzie needs to grow up and is very juvernile behaviour.
They talk more and Evelyn Lozada takes a liking to Kesha Nichols as she tells her about her company and achievements.
Evelyn Lozada is not too impressed with Kenya Bell who says even though she is a singer she can't sing - she doesn't tell them about her academic qualifications (eduation means nothing on this show) and they probably know she was Miss Michigan. Evelyn Lozada tells Kenya she is not sexy in a round about way and needs to improve her videos.
It goes on surprisingly wel and glasses stay on table and with fists down. No drama so we move on!
Non-Eventer of Kenya Bell's Music Video, Audition and Royce's Fundraiser and Tami wants Royce to teach her daughters to dance
I skip Kenya Bell's stupid dance audition were she invites Kesha and Royce Reed just to show them she can do it.... yawn...
Kenya misses the point. Kesha Nichols is a professional dancer. She only does professional productions - thought professional is relative though. Now former Miss Michigan 2001 and alleged husband stabber Kenya Bell claims to have an MBA from at MSU I think she needs to get a refund because she seems to have no idea about anything business unless she thinks cute to act stupid.
Royce is boring! Most of us give to charity but well done. Shame on Suzie Ketcham getting drunk but then as she said How can you put me at bar at a charity and expect me not to drink? She had a point. It was a free bar and most of us would have done the same (remember weddings and parties).
Also award shows can be very boring.Yawn.
Tami for some reason wants her daughters to learn to dance and invites Royce to teach them. One -what kind of dance is she thinking of? Two, why not just send them to dance school?
Basketball Wives Group Talk - maybe Hug (only kidding)
Queen Shaunie O'Neal summons the group to talk about the new Keshia and Kenya beef. Another boring event though I learnt a new term. Apple pie face.
Kenya tells her side of the story about people hating on her and her talent (I'm being generous here).
However it transpires that in scenes that didn't make the show Kesha did a lot for the Kenya and had given her lots of free advice. She just couldn't commit to a hapdash project. I think it seems quite simple to me.
They talk about their differences. Kenya calls Kesha apple pie face which sounds more like an abuse and friendly. I get the apple pie bit but adding face makes it insulting. Kenya says it's like saying boo. Shaunie is like Apple pie face doesn't work as well as boo.
From frying pan to fire former Miss Michigan and Model Kenya Bell seeks image advice from Tami Roman.
Kenya now decides to ask Z-Lister wannabe actress Tami Roman for some advice. Kenya can't take honesty from a professional like Keshia but goes and asks Tami Roman? Something ain't right here.
What does Tami know? For real? In the image and glam ranks Kenya is better off asking Evelyn L. But hold up wasn't Kenya Bell, Miss Michgan 2001? This is really hard to believe that a former beauty queen would need advice on imaging - only two African American have held the crown in the last 13 years with Kenya Bell in 2001 and some other chick in 2004. Mz Kenya Bell must have some sort of a game plan for this show.
|Miss Michgan 2001 - Kenya Bell nee Howard|
Tami is the last person anyone should ask for advice on make overs. Oh I forget to add that Royce Reed apparently referred Kenya to Tami.
They have a chat and Tami tells Kenya she needs to be packaged - by the way Kenya was also in a former girl band - so don't buy all her pretend fake stupidness. It's not about the talent - says Tami. It's really about the image Tami tells the former Miss Michigan 2001 Kenya Bell. I'm not buying this. It is taken for granted as an ex-beauty queen she would have also done some modelling. Come on people! So Kenya is just fooling around on the show!
Anyway Kenya is all beauty pageant queen chirpy - you know that sort of fake modesty mixed with enthusiasm.
Tami becomes smug and then starts to dish advice. They need to get her a glam squad and a creative director. Tami offer the services of her team.
My jaw drops - Tami Roman has a team - a glam squad and comes out looking like that? I'd hate to see her without the team then.
Kenya Bell, Tami Roman and her Team.
Tami Roman and her team are seated to help image former Miss Michigan 2001 Kenya Bell. I keep on quoting her title because I can't believe Kenya Bell is for real. You don't win a beauty pageant by being disorganised. So it must be some sort of ploy or plan she has. Anyway she arrives with no pictures and takes a CD player from the room.
It's a disaster! The whole thing is a disaster with Kenya trying to act cute. I still don't buy this. Tami calls her a hot mess. I don't buy Kenya Bell is a hot mess. This woman is up to something she is just messing with these people - only time will tell. The woman has an entry on E-notes http://www.enotes.com/topic/Kenya_Bell with a long list of achievements including modelling (REAL MODELLING) not the booty stuff, she has a degree in engineering, a MBA and graduated summa cum laude. So stupid Kenya Bell ain't. She was also in girl group that broke up. She also has a fighting past that means she is capable of handling herself in the Basketball wives situation.
Anyway Kenya messes up the interview with Tami but I can't take it seriously because this Kenya is not quite the hot mess she would let us think.
Tami finally goes for therapy and discusses her anger.
She goes for therapy, tells her story and the reason why she is defensively. She tells a bit of her childhood and it's very sad.
Tami says she is tired of being angry all the time. She feels she has always being violated and like to keep her personal space. Also she is tired of letting little things to make her angry. She really opens up the camera and therapist.
The thing about therapy is that it takes time. These hurts and feelings have being there for a long time and it will take time to heal. However now in the basketball wives she is making use of them and has become famous because of them. What we think is her no nonsense attitude can really be her anger coming out in different way. It's very hard thing. Just by talking about it doesn't mean that she will feel instantly better. Something she also said - it didn't really make a difference talking about it.
I do hope she continues to go therapy and sees where it it takes her. There are no instant results and everything takes time and effort. She may make money from her bad temper and fighting on Basketball Wives but then it's finished she will still be angry. As the therapy told her 'Who looks after Tammy!' I wish her the best in this because this is about Tami Roman the real person not the character. She also calls herself a work in progress.
Coming on Basketball Wives!
Kenya Bell manages to annoy Evelyn over something she said (I bet it was something about Chad Ochocinco Johnson or at some man) and they come to fists. Evelyn is the one who rushes Kenya but y'all know Kenya - if she can put a seven foot basketball player in hospital she can hold her own. So looking forward to next week. Still interested to know what the real Kenya Bell is up to.
Booji/Bougie Princess Jennifer Williams - whose father suppose made aeroplanes and drove a porche (according to Evelyn in Episode two) starts to swings her fists around too. Obviously she wasn't that wealthy that the whole ghetto hoodrat attitude was removed.
Till next week...