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Pretend Interview with Gemma Collins.

Savvy business woman and plus sized clothes designer Gemma Collins recently gave an interveiw to heat magazine going on about how she wanted poeple to see the real her, her panick attacks etc. I really felt sorry for her until she diva-ed up in the 'I'm a Celeb', collected her fee and is probably looking to sell her story again. People like Gemma Collins make Katie Price look like a saint. (Nah, I'm kidding.)

The honest truth is that Gemma Collin is a savvy privately educated business woman who knows what she's doing. I'm not sure if this will back fired on her but she need the publicity. Yes, I don't think she needed to do the jungle but it was entertaining all the same. Check out her site here

So I was thinking what if we could get a real interview with Gemma?

Gemma Collins recently quit "I A Celeb" on the basis of bad food. For her rider Gemma demanded we get a pizza, chips drenched in mayo and ketchup with a side dish of curry sauce and a double portioned kebab othewise there would be no interview. We were happy to compile even though most of our guests just ask for bottled water, champange and strawberries.

You seem incredilby vunlerable at the moment?

I am. KFC just got shut down and Nandos has threatened to withdrawn their loyalty card from me. I might to start paying. I tell people it's about bullying. That's like a standard answer. People do name call me especially when I cleared out all the donuts and Cornish pasties in Greggs. That was for my builders though. I only like KFC. How can a jungle not have a KFC or Nandos! Note even a bacon buttie.

Gemma Collins

There been a lot of speculation about you leaving TOWIE. Are you?

I'm not unhappy with TOWIE. The problem is the lunch breaks. They are too short for me to get to the chippy and back. They give salad and birdfood Ugh....I need proper food. (Gemma pulls a face of disgust.)

You were very determined to lose weight last time we spoke to you?

(Silence as Gemma smirks, rolls her eyes and reaches for a pizza slice.) Yeah, but that perfume deal fell though, they said I wasn't the image they wanted to project. And they refused to meet my rider of having a double portion of chips with a lamb kebab. They went for some stick insect. (She tells us the person but we are unable to share that with you).

Why is now the right time for you to lose weight?

Gemma Collins, pictured, went to a private school in Essex and comes from an affluent background

I lose weight I might get some endoresments and things other than free Nandos. People on twitter also throw insults at me but I just threaten to sit on them or cyber fart in their faces. Then again I'm not sure about weight loss because I make so much money being a plus sized designer. Have you seen my site. I'm also up for a award. I'm not sure losing weight will be good - I'd just be another stick insect and can't have a Kebab when I want to.

Why did you quit the jungle?

I showed the real me rather than the person they think they know. What sort of places has no chippy, KFC or kebab shop. It was disgusting, criminal get fed better than that. I just crumbled in the jungle.

So what does the future hold for you now?

I've got a few magazine interviews lined up pluse this plus-sized awards. My people reckon I could make more cash being a whinger and fat chick than some bony cow. (Gemma grabs a hand full of chips and shoves it in her mouth.) Yeah...that's my plan and brand. Whinging fat chick. Plus sized designer..Sod being a skinny bitch.

No chickens where harmed in this interview.


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