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The Voice - UK aka the Hoarse starring, Tom, Jones and JessieJ

Yawn yawn, Britain has Talent has just finished and I'm a few minutes into the Cube - some rubbish-way-of-passing-the-time game show when my mother rings me about The Voice. She asks me if I'ma gonna watch it.

Well, not really my thing because the thing bores me to death - I've only ever watched a few minutes of it before flicking over to the next channel mostly ITV. Well she wants to watch it so I consider and switch my TV over.

Willy Wonka - Will.I.Am is dressed in a space suit or robot as usually. Jessie is wearing a weave looking all polished bar her strange facial expression. Are you scared?

 Boring Danny is like an over hyped child and Mr Tom Jones is looking pretty waxed. Maybe it's time for his hot Cocoa and bedroom slippers.

Then the acts come on. Now this is what gets me in the Voice. It's kinda fake and even ageist. They are looking for special voices so they let go a lot of good singers and get some mediocre lot.

The first I found cringeworthy where the girls Nu-Turea. Okay highly energetic singing but the girls could not harmonise. Or they didn't harmonise - one was out singing the other which was just noise to the ear. The beat was good but really?

 Also at thirty years old they were dressed outlandishly like over grown teenagers for attention and were so over hyped. Good luck to Will.I.Am is all I can say. Give it to Jessie J she did mention the girls did not harmonise. If you are in a group especially black R&B soul kinda setup your harmonies need to be spot on.

Then this dude called Nate James who had been dropped from about two known record labels starts to sing. Now his voice was very light on the ear with no personality at all.

All I can say it that maybe subcounsioully Boring Dan and Facial Jessie recognised it or found it familiar. It will be interesting to see The Voice success where two record labels and a MOBO nomination has failed. I'ma just saying.

Wax Tom Jones - what can I say. The man looked as pissed as hell. Yes because it seemed that he's being pigeoned holed into having 'Tom's Type of Singer'. What the fuck does that mean? So we get this old trooper who'd had more chances than hot dinners at making it. You can see Tom is not really feeling it but... but there is a little something that is niggling at him.

Yes, well all know Granddad Scottish Man can sing but is he a star?  The story is - y'all know there needs to be a story. Anyway the story is that his child put him forward. He has been a star in the making for a very very very long time.

And according the Dail Mail the man is called "Bilbo Baggins: Colin Chisholm, from Edinburgh, was once in 1970s rock band Bilbo Baggins and is the oldest entrant in the competition."  But the problem is even though he's a great vocalist what extactly is unique about that voice?

Even Gramps Waxy Tom Jones had a uniqueness to his voice. I know when Tom is singing. I know when Facial Expressions Jessie J is on the radio and Will.I.Am - these guys have a uniqueness to their voices. Anyway Granddad Tom gives in to his sentiment and presses his button. But he doesn't seem convinced.

The Adele tribute Lareena Mitchell was spot on - a great vocalist but  and there is always a big but. Her image... Compare her to Adele and she is a far better vocalist than Adele but does she have the writing talent and other additionals? Anyway she was a Tom person.

Anyway after all the struggling rejects from record companies got through and those I thought where truly talented like the Personal Shopper in the Supermarket, The Dog Groomer and the Hair Dresser where rejected I just turned off the TV. The precise moment I turned off was when some supporting act for the Killers and other rock groups got accepted. He couldn't sing all he did was turn some vowels around in the songs. So instead of singing long he'd sing lang.

Don't know. Well I do - it's shit. Simply shit and ageist shit as well. Oh what else? Na that's it - on yes boring as well - with most over singing - shit they can't sing well properly in the first place. Ima done? Yeah, I am.

As for the judges. Danny needs to quieten down he's too hyper - all that hip hop head-nodding is way too distracting. Facial Expression Jessie - we know you know all the songs so stop singing and waving your hands in the air - cause we all know you care. Will.I.Am - dope, dope and dope. Boring dope. Granddad Tom Jones - please make a stand and stop taking the obvious choices - do something new with your singers - try edgy for once.

Okay, Ima done now.


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