Basketball Wives season 5 - Episode 3: Everyone casts on Tami Roman; Evelyn Lozada comes clean about her part in the fight with Chad Johnson Ochocinco, Tasha Marbury jokes Evelyn Lozada should wear helmets on dates. Evelyn casts shade on Tami implying Tami may be hating because Evelyn got the PETA campaign.

This episode was about Evelyn Lozada's rejecting Chad Johnson Ochocinco's sperm and everyone is trying to cast shade on Tami Roman and put her in some drama with Tash Marbury. Let's starts with the Lozada-Johnson Ochocino mess.

Evelyn Lozada comes clean about her part in the fight with Chad Johnson Ochocinco

Evelyn rocks up to Dr Nixon her relationship therapist which she saw with Chad - pre-wedding. I'm thinking maybe Evelyn should ask for a refund because the marriage was less than a month. Then again the therapy was probably part of the reality show 'Ev and Ocho' that VH1 cancelled before it aired. So technically it was free.

 Anyway Lozada is milking victimhood to the max but the relationship therapist Dr Nixon puts a stop to it.  Dr Nixon is no one's fool and asks the question we all forgot as we piled pity on Evelyn Lozada.

Dr Nixon wanted to know what instigated the fight - I bet Evelyn Lozada owes VH1 that scoop and exclusive seeing how much money they lost on her and Chad's reality show.

Evelyn Lozada says she took her vows seriously but felt Chad didn't take it seriously. They declared before God and a TV camera about their love for each other.  I still think it was about partly about getting a post-baller career for Chad.

Evelyn Lozada wanted the marriage to be a clean slate. Is she implying Chad cheating during relationship? Well I guess we all saw that 'I will buy you condoms myself' episode with Evelyn and Chad. Cheating allowed before marriage but none after. Sounds interesting.

 Evelyn says she told Chad Ochocinco after finding the receipt for the condoms in car
  1.  She didn't respect him. Ouch! 
  2. She wanted out. Double Ouch! 
  3. She didn't want to have his kids. Whoa! Ouch! 

Evelyn is using clean language now but ya'll can imagine the amount of cursing and profanity she would have used.  Evelyn Lozada tried it - she pushed that sorry-ass poor excuse of a man Chad Johnson Ochincino and he went ballistic! It would take a saint to have that lashing and walk away. The problem is that most women would never go there. They might call him a cheating bastard, son of bitch, muthafucker. But they will never go that deep. That is digging a pit especailly in a closed confined space where she couldn't run.

I've seen Evelyn Lozada in action in pervious episodes - when Evelyn Lozada  gets going with her lethal weapon mouth it's like she loses all senses and just goes nuclear.

We don't know the context in which Evelyn Lozada said those things but let's imagine the situation - just imagine - some women can easily say  'If I was carrying your child right now I'd get rid of it.' which cleans up and translates 'I don't want to bring a kid into this.'  A lot of women fight dirty like that for maximum impact.

I just wonder if Chad Johnson Ochocinco has ever had a woman do that or say that to him - one minute carrying his child - next minute not. It happens.  That would go a long way to explain his reaction. I'm just speculating here. Simply speculating.It could be anything.


Also telling Chad Johnson Ochocinco that she didn't respect him in an angry situation that too is a low low. Just how did she say it - what words did she use. Words can be weapons you know.

And let's bring it down to bottom line. It ain't no hoodrat telling him that. It's a Latina Hispanic woman telling an African American man. It's all phycological like Evelyn Lozada is looking down on Chad Johnson Ochocinco. This situation goes way deeper than anyone cares to admit. And the inner hoodrat, ghetto Chad Johnson Ochocinco reacted.

This dude Chad Johnson Ochocinco was rich, famous and respected and in a small car because he'd chased a piece of ass - he had this chick giving him nuclear disrespect like he was some poor bum street cat. He reacted like a street cat. Stupid muthafucka - you can take the Chad Johnson Ochocinco out of hood but you can't take the hood out of Chad Johnson Ochocinco.

Dr Nixon tells Evelyn they both fought the way they knew how. She with words and Chad with his head - physically. Chad Johnson Ochocinco needs to be held accountable for his actions however I think Evelyn Lozada should let him be and leave him alone.  She just pushes his buttons way to far for him to react normally. It's part of chemistry.

Anyway Evelyn starts crying about wanting to go back to her husband of one month.  Dr Nixon points out the options -  either go back and be a statistic and or always wonder why she didn't.

Relationship therapist Dr Nixon tells Evelyn to block out all the voices - family, friends, media and all of us and listen to her heart. The heart isn't always right. Evelyn pushes Chad's buttons - she can make him react which is part of excitement on the other hand its a dangerous combination.

Evelyn hit Chad Johnson Ochocinco's blind spot. And there are so many ways you can tell a man you don't want to have his child. Evelyn went for maximum effect wanting to hurt him. And I think if she said what I think she did - he still would have gone for her in a public place.

The Tasha Marbury Dinner

Tash, Tashie, Tasha. If Tash can deal with 'chef' situation going public she can definitely deal with two thirsty ex-basketball wives (Shaunie and Tami), one 'desparately seeking attention' ex-footballer' wife (Evelyn) and a basketball babymama/groupie (Suzie).

Tasha handles the question from Suzie Ketcham well but Suzie doesn't really know when to stop so goes further and asks if the jump-off chef was pretty? Tact, tact tact - not Suzie Ketcham's strongest point. Even Shaunie O Neal says it.

Evelyn Lozada adds her own two cent about Tash wanting to move on and how wrong all this is. Excuse me, Evelyn Lozada is in no position to talk because Evelyn is probably worse having included Tasha's husband's affair in her book -  she is basically a vultured on a painful situation. Evelyn is making money off Tasha Marbury's misery. She's also used it as an excuse to promote her book in a shady way on the show.

Tasha asks Tami why she is looking down and Tami says because she thought it was Tasha's personal business. Suzie Ketcham gets annoyed with Tami's response but Suzie isn't exactly a five year old. She is a woman in her late thirties with children and should know better. Anyway Suzie asked about the chef's looks all by herself.

Tasha Marbury puts a stop to it - doesn't want to give it attention, make the jump off relevant or give her energy. Tasha Marbury is like - you live and learn. However Tasha then comments about the cash - 'let her take her little money and keep it moving'.

Tami Roman is like that is true? And Tasha Marbury confirms it is true. Evelyn Lozada starts behaving like she was long-term top league basketball wife instead of a former groupie recently promoted up the ladder to wife. Evelyn Lozada rolls her eyes saying people don't know. That is so pretentious. Wife beat chad Ochocinio puts a ring of her finger and suddenly she is using the status.

Tasha Marbury  just says  it could happen to anyone - he could have being a janitor or garbage man.

Lessons for all

The thing is cooking for any man is a very intimate thing. I'm African child where I learnt one of the ways to a man's heart is through his stomach. It's not wise to let some bright young pretty thing to cook for your man - no matter how much trust their is.  Because food is special and a way of bonding for men and women. Food is comforting and meals bring families together (even if in front of the TV).

No matter how rich the African woman is she still cooks (or pretends to for her man). Most African chicks knows the minute some jump-up cow starts cooking (paid or not) for her man - it may be trouble. First it's the compliments - the it's like it tastes like his mama's cooking - it rolls and rolls and gathers speed.

If you can afford a private chef/cook make sure its a man or a ugly and old chick - the OLD is very important. Because ugly chicks still get men with their cooking and housekeeping skills. Men and their food - don't go there.

For us without chefs - don't allow no friend, cousin or other woman to help you cook for your man. Simple. So this lesson is for all of us.

Anyway I digress,  Tami goes to confessional to say that she would have never paid off the mistress. Well, it isn't that simple. Tasha didn't pay her off - her husband Stephon Marbury did.

Stephon Marbury had his reasons so it's probably a very strong gagging order in place so the mistress jump off Thurayyah Mitchell can never sell her story, write a book or appear on a show like this. That is to say Thurayyah Mitchell can never use or capitalise on Stephon Marbury's name to make money.

So thirsty jump off mistress take the millon dollars but in the long term it's not that great. Why? Well easy come easy go. A few bad investiments, laywer fees and living like a princess the money is gone and next port Thurayyah Mitchell may be living off welfare and foodstamps with this watertight gagging order over her head.

The best thing was to walk away from the affair and maybe a few doors could have opened.  Naw but Thurayyah Mitchell was thirsty for money. Apparently she's up in court again harassing Stephon Marbury for the balance but ya'll know lawyers don't cheap. Money you don't earn goes quick.

Suzie Ketcham and Evelyn Lozada meet on a boat

The sole purpose is to bitch about Tami Roman and the dinner at Tasha Marbury's home. Suzie says her question came out wrong - was that the bit about the chef or asking how pretty the chef was?

Suzie Ketcham whines that she wants Tasha Marbury to like her. Evelyn comes over all wise but I say again after putting Tasha Marbury's business in her book Evelyn Lozada is in no postion to talk. Soon Suzie and Evelyn start to bitch about Tami and Tasha Marbury potential relationship. I'm like who mentioned the chef? Tami? No, Suzie did.

It's like there is a secret agenda to start drama between Tasha and Tami.  They already told Tasha Marbury that Tami could go well or wrong. Why? It's like Tami is the resident Basketball Wives crazy chick.

It seems Evelyn's nasty incident with turd Chad Ochocinco has left her with some memory loss. Evelyn is now behaving all holier than thou and like an angel.  Just because we are all rooting her for and hope she moves on - in which way does not mean Evelyn Lozada is an angel. An victim of a domestic assault but it does not make her a better person. She was still throwing bottles and cursing like a marine last season.

At some point Evelyn Lozada to boasts about her PETA campaign and a party they are throwing for her - which is pretty big - because it's mostly A List Stars that do it
Tami Roman and Shaunie O Neal
Tami meets up with Shaunie and accuses her and Evelyn of trying to create a bad impression of her with Tasha Marbury. Apparently she spoke to Tasha after the dinner and Tasha said she'd being warned about Tami in advance.

Shaunie admits telling Tash things could either go right or very wrong. Tami Roman thinks they are planting bad seeds and stirring. I do as well.  Because all it does it make Tasha Marbury wary of Tami.  It's a bit of mind games going on.

Tasha Marbury meet Suzie Ketcham for Lunch.

Tasha Marbury's beauty really shines when she is relaxed. She meets Suzie and I guess the nerves of meeting the group is over so she can be more open and relaxed.  Tasha Marbury is friendly and seems cool. Suzie Ketcham apologises for her behaviour saying she can be blunt. Whatever, Suzie.

Tasha Marbury waves off the whole evening and jokes about asking strangers random questions. Then Suzie drags Tami Roman's name in it saying that Tami wanted to know Tasha's business and it wasn't to fair Tasha. Messy or what?

Tasha Marbury is unimpressed and tenses up again. Said it before and will say it again there seems to be a secret agenda to get Tami Roman and Tasha Marbury fighting. This is getting too messy why can Suzie just keep to her apology and leave it at that.

Tasha Marbury gets defensive and is shocked by Tami Roman and Suzie Ketcham. She tells Suzie she take her marriage seriously.  It's like they are playing with Tasha Marbury's head so she's not really sure what to believe. Lawd it's going to get messy.

Tasha Marbury finally says even though the chef saga is out in the open it's still her own business and she just wants to move on. I think it will continue to roll so Tasha don't hold your breath.

Suzie invites Tasha's to Evelyn's Peta event. Tasha is ok they can all start over but no questions about other people's husband. Wow, go Tash! Though technically you are the only one still married so these women don't really keep to that code. Anywho Suzie is agrees. THEY HAVE BEEN WARNED!

Suzie Ketcham brings on her cousin

Suzie Ketcham  whines about her life - she's failed in relationship, dropped out of school and countless surgeries which only makes her feel ugly.  More child support money than sense is what I say.
Anyway Suzie Ketcham's cousin doesn't have much to say apart from the normal BS that Suzie Ketcham is different and has her own gifts. Okay -popping out babies for rich basketball players, partying and being messy on reality shows. I think we are done.

It's hard for Suzie Ketcham's mother to be proud that her daughter is a groupie when it seems she comes from a professional family that prides themselves in over achieving. Suzie Ketcham is a baby mama college drop out who talks about penises on a reality show.

Marlon - Shaunie O'Neil's man.

Who really cares about Shaunie O'Neil's and her man?  I. DONT. CARE.  Actually they only brought him up so it can set up the Tami bitchfest between Shaunie and Evelyn. Moving on.

Tami and her family

Tami is going through a difficult time with her mother being ill so she is going to on very tender hooks. She meets with her cousin to discuss her mother and how scared she feels about the situation. Then Tami talks with her children about doing something special for her mother and the possible care-package options to them.

It's heart breaking to decide if her mother goes into a hospice or stays at home with Tami. Tami doesn't have the emotional energy to look after her mother at home.

However things take on another turn as the events rolls. And a lot of shade is casted on Tami. 

Evelyn Lozada sees her  PETA Naked Photo.

Evelyn is happy with her air brushed and photoshopped pictures. Evelyn does the standard speech about how animals are killed and skinned for their furs blah blah blah yada, yada, yada then mentions in her next breath she hopes her next step is playboy - don't they do centrefold on fur rugs? Rachet. I think I'm done there.

Suzie Ketcham and Tasha Marbury drive to Evelyn's PETA birthday party

Tash Marbury tells Suzie she's always had to work for her money. When she was dating Stephon Marbury he was tightwad. Never spent any money on Tasha so she didn't have the option to drop out of school and be a kept woman. Which must make this who chef thing even more horrible. You earn your own money now some chick is freeloading off your other half. But hey it's a watertight gagging order so technically her loss- your win.

Tash and Suzie talk about the whole Chad and Evelyn situation but I'm bored about so it's basically about second chances blah blah blah - whatever up to Evelyn and Chad at this point.

Suzie Ketcham and Tasha Marbury toast and drink to Evelyn's new success as a single woman. Tasha Marbury cracks a joke that Evelyn can wear a helmet to dates. I must admit it's in poor taste.  Then again Evelyn Lozada did put Tasha's business in her book and that too is in poor taste.

As usual Suzie Ketcham is  quick to disassociate herself from Tasha Marbury in the confessionals by saying she was shocked Tasha said that. Really? Suzie did the same to Tami. It's going to be on heck of a reunion ya'll and we are just on episode three.

Evelyn Lozada PETA birthday party

Evelyn Lozada's birthday is great with lights, a poster unveiling and Happy Birthday Evelyn on the wall. However Tami Roman does not turn up.

This gets interesting because I think maybe Tami has a lot on her plate with her mother's illness and planning her care. Also she's trying to get her business together. But this is too simple in Basketball Wives land. Nope.

Evelyn reckons that Tami is jealous of her and trying to cast shade over her PETA birthday. EL starts to bleat that it's because TR tried to get Peta to take her on so it's just pure jealousy. Then Shaunie adds that Tami tried to get the campaign but was passed over for Evelyn. Anyway Evelyn implies that Tami might be hating her for getting the PETA. I think it's a bit strong to call Tami a hater.

A more positive and uplifting Basketball Wives? I don't think so. The battle lines are drawn. It's just so much messier than before. 

PETA would chose Evelyn Lozada over Tami Roman simply because Evelyn has a bigger profile and can reach more people. And maybe being a victim of domestic violence did help a lot in increasing her profile because she did ABC, Iyanla Fix Your Life and other stuff  Let's face the facts.

It was an ugly situation but Evelyn Lozada did not hid she just rolled with it. Or at least her management did.

Shaunie and Evelyn pick shoes for Marlon date

Shaunie invite Evelyn to help her pick shoes for a hot date with Marlon but this is another opportunity to bitch about Tami Roman. Shaunie  tells Evelyn that Tami said they planted bad seeds in Tasha's mind about her.  Evelyn says that all new people will be worried about getting on with either her or Tami.

They decide Tami is super salty and Shaunie does a good impression of Tami talking slowing while flicking her hair.  This season may be worse than last season. I'm not sure what to expect.

The filming is finished because it was rumoured it was pushed forward to August because of the Love and Hip Hip Franchise. I know they are talking more positive role models and story lines but there already seem to be so much shade already.