Wednesday 26 September 2012

R&B Divas Season 1 Episode 6: Issues again, Keke goes for threapy, Syleena is humbled or humliated, Nicci gets a bit crazy and all that other stuff.

Thanks for reading and putting up with my bad grammar and spelling mistakes.  This show seems trying too hard to get women to identify with 'real' issues when I rather just be entertained.

Shows like Love & Hip Hop and Basketball Wives have more honest reactions because they set up cast members into situations they know they will react, explode and fight. These VH1 shows manipulate cast members so they react.

Also R &B Divas takes the moral high ground and wants to 'help' and 'reach out' to other women so it's more planned about what 'female issues' they are going to tackle and therefore loses the spontaneity and the realism the other shows have.


It's a difficult one but the show does dragging on.

Syleena with dredlocked vocal coach

Starts off with Syleena Johnson telling us about her father being famous and how he thinks her a rival. A lot of talk with her getting stuff off her chest and then they hug.


Now Syleena not only has money issues she also has established she has father issues.

Church and generational curse

Then we get to church where Keke Wyatt and family are going for bible study. They invite Monifah and Syleena. Monifah rocks up late and starts about her alternative lifestyle. I'm not sure what that has to do with church. My own issue (yay my issue hahaha..) is that they make like all Christians are  judgemental.

Church is about going to commune, pray, praise and have fellowship with others. Not about yapping about alternative lifestyles and what exactly is alternative? A lifestyle is a lifestyle. And it's normal whatever it is.  Monifah behaves like it's some sort of exclusive club that makes her special.

Keke goes on about abusive relationships in her family. Her grandmother and then her mother. She fails to say which grandmother that was (ok, I'm being annoying but was it her maternal or paternal). Then the pastor leading brings in his own issues about boozers well alcholics in his family. Really? I feel a 'Testimony, testimony! I need to testify about' moment coming on.

 Something about generation curse which Monifah tries to explain but I don't really listen.


Monifah and Syleena do a duet in the studio
 

Syleena is putting an album together and she is doing some vocals with Monifah. Monifah comes in a bit late and starts to sing. Syleena complains that Monifah forgets words. Monfah is like it doesn't matter and Syleena can sing over it.


 We don't really care because it's not as if the song is hot anyway. And as Monifah maybe if she practised more they lyrics would stick.

 

Monifah and Keke

Keke goes to see Monifah without handbag Micheal. I'm starting to think this Keke and Micheal tag-team thing was only for the show.


Anyway Keke opens up about her abusive relationship with her ex-husband. It got so bad that her baby daughter got involved in the clashes. She said she didn't even leave him after the stabbing incident. She just wanted all the kids to have the same daddy. Made her feel guilty and crazy.  Well done, Keke but I feel that a part of this was done to reach out to other women in those relationships.

This is my thing about how 'real' or sincere all this is. It's like there is a bird/producer whispering in Keke's ear that she has to reach out to other women in same situation. This then makes the confessional more staged and preachy as if she is lecturing others. What might have been more effective was what made Keke leave.

She can talk about leaving him for her children/daughters (which I doubt) and doing for them but in these relationships women only leave when a man crosses a line. Now everyone had a line or a limit. It can be something very silly, or simple or complex. And whatever that line was (Keke is not telling us) the bastard ex-husband crossed it.




Evelyn Lozada's bottom line was probably Chad trying to violate her beauty and she realised what a monster Chad Johnson could become. Chad crossed the line when head-butted her and tried to take away her beauty. That's how Evelyn survives and makes her money. Her face and body have always being her fortune and ticket to a better life. Chad tried to mess that up.

You see those crazy guys who throw acid at a woman or mash up their faces. And maybe if Chad didn't go for her face Evelyn would be still with him. But to harm Evelyn's face is to violate her and not even she can put up with that. Because her beauty is her fortune. So everyone has line and it's subjective from person to person.

 I digress so with Keke Wyatt staying with the man so long sometime must have  triggered her leaving and it's not as simple as the whole 'my daughters' thing. Look at Mimi Faust. Stevie J may not be physical but it's sort of an emotional/mental abuse. He humiliates her in front of 4 million viewers and she takes it. Yet Mimi keeps on preaching the 'my daughter line' and is still in there with Joseline and whichever other hoe Stevie J Jordan is sleeping with.

Anyway Keke says she is going for therapy.


Group meeting at Faith's Appartment


 Faith Evans, Keke Wyatt, Baby Wyatt, Syleena, Nicci and Monifah are all drinking - not sure why the plastic cups. Keke tells the group she is going for therapy.

Nicci tells Keke to keep it private and not to discuss there since they are all boozing and it can do more harm than good. I agree because everyone has an opinion but Keke is grown women with like seven children. Even Keke is confused over Nicci's behaviour - do we smell another Nicci Gilbert issue coming up? After all we have resolved the singing without passion issue.


Anyway somehow it all goes down and Nicci starts to screaming with baby Wyatt in her arms about getting over emotional - defeats the point as she is the emotional one. And poor baby Wyatt's ears listening to some big woman yell. Maybe Nicci should be going for therapy instead of Keke.

 People enjoy this because this is as close as it will come to in ratchetness. Alcohol, Liquor and not fights. Oh well we do have a screaming Nicci so I guess that will do.

Therapy with Keke and Micheal

Micheal and Keke Wyatt rock up without Baby Wyatt to see some therapist - some doctor Marcia something. She looked more nervous and chaotic than Keke. Why didn't they get Dr Jeff?



Keke describes herself as a singer/celebrity and says she is misunderstood - aren't we all? She goes on to the issues. Her work and home balance. A working mother struggling with seeing her kids and baby.
 She thinks about her conflict of work and motherhood. She keeps on going about her craziness. She talks a lot Micheal tells he maybe she had abandonment issues as a child.


Keke is like so you understand and honestly it's like every other reality show therapy session apart from Love  and Hip Hop Atlanta which was unique.


Boring same old conversation.

Micheal and Keke discuss therapy

The show cuts to the Wyatt household and Keke asking Micheal why he isn't understanding all the time like in therapy. He says she is always barking - probably means angry. So he can't talk to her. To be honest it's the same old bullcrap there. She feels bad and says she will change. Micheal says he loves her. I mean what about Saint Micheal's issues.


 Why is he in a relationship with an angry woman? Why does he put up with that behavour? And if Keke didn't seek help at what point would have Micheal thought okay I'm done here. These are serious issues. And if Micheal loves Keke as that crazy, angry woman how will he feel when she gets better and a little more control. When she needs him less? Bottom line it's pretty common stuff and quite not interesting though they have a nice house.

Syleena's Acoustic Show

 Syleena and her entourage march up to a venue to find nothing is set up. No mic stands, no sound system. Chaotic.

As I see more of the venue I feel more uncomfortable and see how far Syleena has fallen from her career. That is like an open mic venue  that was more of a karaoke joint. - I thought she'd be singing in a jazz club or proper venue (theatre). At this point despite all the jokes I've being making I can see Syleena has put her pride on the line for a comeback and she is grabbing her opportunity. She has humbled herself so if you like her check out her website. http://www.syleenamusic.com/


It get worse after all the complaining the promoter comes with attitude. That is not a proper promoter that is just a woman who hustles and throws events. She starts to argue with Syleena's sister. But we are disappointed because no rachetness or punches are thrown.

Syleena does Royce Reed impersonation of 'Daddy, Daddy.'


Like in the beginning of the show Syleena goes on about her father. He shows up for some reason but I'm not sure why.

She goes on about her father and her have an 'Ike and Tina' relationship but she means volatile. He also comes with his guitar like he wants to crash Syleena's show.

 Maybe he just wants a duet with his daughter anyway to my disappointment they never show him perform so I just had to go on Youtube.


Johnson Family Affair with Embarrassing Dad Sydrome with Syl Johnson

Most parents are embarrassing and famous ones are no different.  Anyway Syl Johnson does the embarrassing dad syndrome. He seems all a bit of it for whatever reason. It's uncomfortable but I'm not sure why he's there. Anyway he on about Syleena lack of prep work etc but it's pathetic. Then her two other sisters lay into him and start to argue with him. It is a tense time especially with the cameras there so tempers will fuel and telling Syleena to go wash dishes wasn't too nice.


There seemed a lot of criticism from her father but no real advice or guidance - I'm not sure if it was edited that way to show her father in a bad light. However it's not uncommon for parents to compete with their children. So whatever let's not make a big deal out if it. Syleena is still talented with or without a mic, or sound system - the woman can sing.

Anyway Syleena gets upset and starts to cry which is unacceptable as she going to preform. Thanks giving and Christmas at the Johnson Household must be all fun and games.


Monifah comes to offer her support back stage. As I mentioned before overall you can see how far Syleena has fallen in her career. They didn't even want to give her free or complimentary water. She is a singer and needs to keep her thoat hydrated so she had to buy it. She had to get changed in the close off area - no dressing room or private area. It just seemed a closed part of the bar.  Syleena definitely had no rider.

 
Syleena's Performance

She goes the stage and makes light of the situation about the venue charging for water. She has already being humbled, embarrassed and humiliated by all this. This is a far cry from when she had her own rider list of demands.

 Even her team are family members but at least Syleena is trying. Even Faith Evan comments about sometimes you have to make light of situations.



She sings with Monifah and it's a bit off key but the sound system doesn't help.


Then she introduces her father who pays her the biggest compliment regarding her talent.



It get worst and the sound systems really starts to play up. It's cringeworthy but Syleena just sings on.

The promoter and her beef

At the end the promoter goes all ratchet and hood talking about disrespect and black women not coming together. If not for the show I think probably Syleena's sister would have popped the promoter one.

However what the promoter failed to understand was Syleena had a lot riding on this gig. She might have had industry people who had come to see her perform and for some reason she could not give her best.  So a lot a shade thrown however Syleena did her best.

Tuesday 18 September 2012

R&B Divas Season 1 Episode 5: Nicci and her Mama, Monifah wants a Terez's baby, Keke wants to be Monifah and Terez's baby's auntie, Micheal goes missing from the group, Nicci bonds with her mother and Faith goes away again.

Another episode of mostly petty bickering, squabbling and immaturity. I must declare I have an issue with one woman carrying another woman's baby so I go have a rant about that.  It just seems silly and quite invasion on the so called 'beloved' partner. IVF is quite invasive and not as easy as people think so when Monifah is talking about carrying Terez's baby I shake my head. It's not like Terez can't carry hers unless there is a medical reason. I find it silly so I do go on about it a bit.

It seemed there might have been some battles behind the scene because Syleena and Monifah got a bit more air time to show us about their zero careers. I'm blogging this at work mind so I'm just going through the bits that came to mind. It's more in character order than than how it was on the show.


Syleena Johnson finally gets her own 'issues/storyline time

Syleena and her team (mostly Sister-manager). 

We open with Team Syleena sitting at dining table discussing her career. OK. It's Kalie Redd all over again but in this case I agree Syleena did have a career - not just a booty hustle. So Syleena bleating on about her management (her sister and some other dude) and housing issues. It seems that Syleena has money issues so made the move from Chicago to Atlanta for her career. I'm not too sure if this is true or a story line because for someone with financial difficulty she seems to have a large entourage around her.  




Anyway Madam Syleena's issue is money and her branding. May I also add her ego. Anyway Syleena's sister manages her and if you have a sister/brother it's very hard to tell them they can't have champagne tastes on beer money. Or they are just real day-dreaming and keeping it real. 


Syleena is displeased because things have being chaotic with her other co-manager so dude Keith Douglas. He comes in grinning like some shady drug dealer and Syleena lays into him about not having him on speed dail. Apparently it's his assistant that has being dealing with her but he never speaks to her. You see that pretty much show Syleena how important she is.


  
 
Anyway the man apologies because in the end with this appearance he gets his name out there. Then he does something which I find odd - he closes the meeting with a prayer. I'm like this is a business meeting where I always feel in matters financial or money I keep to this in mind  -And Jesus answering said unto them, Render to Caesar the things that are Caesar's, and to God the things that are God's. And they marveled at him. Mark 12:17. I never trust people who bring religion into business unless it's a religious business. Just me.  

Shady looking Keith Douglas dumps Syleena  via email

 
Syleena has a meeting with her sister-manager. Sister-Manager tells Syleena that Keith Douglas sent an email terminating their contract with her. 


I think he  probably thought she was too high maintenance and demanding without bringing anything  receipts. I means was acting like a Diva.  

Anyway after downing some hard liquor and wine Syleena says she is glad that Keith is gone and she  is confident her Sister-Manager can do it all alone. After all sister-manager has being working with Syleena for over ten years. That is the problem - where is Syleena's career now?


Then it gets worse apparently Sister-Manager also has a full time job teaching in a New York College. So when exactly does she have the time to do all this managing? She has a life, teaching, marking, attending college meetings etc. We can see why Syleena is a non-brand with zero career. Mean - I don't care. But then who knows what exactly is true. 
Anyway sister-manager tells Syleena that she has arranged a photo-shoot for her album and press. Uh huh. 

Syleena's diva attitude at photo-shot 

Syleena carries her ego to the photo shoot and it seems chaotic. There were no shoes and accessories and apparently the clothes were for a thin hoochie mama. So Syleena gives some attitude and walks out. At first I was surprised and thought she should have tried to work with it. 

After all it's about her career but afterwards I thought it was a non-event - like a set-up that was planned and planted in the show for a build up. Why? Because not even Syleen would be silly enough to behave like that if she wanted to build up her career - she would have probably rushed to the store to get the stuff. Also her sister-manager and stylist would have been there. But it built dramatic tension. 


Syleena's successful photoshoot

There is another photo shoot which runs smoothly and in a nicer place. Clan Johnson (her two bickering sisters - I mean real sisters not the Divas) turns out to support Syleena. 


The sister-managers introduces herself as Dr whatever. She is a PHD not medical. It was nice but very boring. Syleena doing the Diva thing again saying she couldn't work under those conditions. 


I thinks she should have being wearing a corset, shape wear or something. From the side she just looked awkward and not in proportion  in that Monifah-purple-hair outfit. I wasn't feeling it.  Anyway it will be photoshopped so not a big deal.


Team Syleena and moving house.

Not sure how relevant Syleena moving house is but there was a scene for other women to identity  with where she runs in the get a shower cap because it is raining. That weave must be either expensive or cheap - not sure because I know both Rihanna and Beyonce swim in theirs. And so does Naomi Campbell. So water does not hurt weaves - just depends on the type and quality. 


Just occurred to me for a woman whose issues is money she does have a big entourage. I mean even her stylist was on hand to help her move. Anyway Syleena gets a call from sister-manager about a gig singing with some basketball team and says it's okay to invite some of the Divas along. 


Queen of Issues, Monifah 


Monifah gets some quality time with the camera focusing on her career. Yes, another career one.   Monifah acts very young.  I'm not sure if that's her storyline but it's not cute as she isn't ten or Honey Boo Boo Child.  She is not even the youngest of the group.  

Monifah: Her latest issue is baby or career?

She meets up with Faith who seems more a guest than a regular on the show to talk about her career. What career? This seems like a Kylie Redd moment all over again. Remember Love and Hip Hop's Zerozino and No receipts Kalie Redd banging on about careers - I swear R&B Divas may have even used the same restaurant.  


Anyway Monifah is yapping on about getting her zero career started again and Faith is looking all sympathetic but probably as bored as we are. Then the silly moo - I mean heifer or Monifah also drops she wants to have a baby.  OK. That seems logical as she has being whining on about babies from the Keke Wyatt's baby shower show but you all know there is a catch.


 Nothing is really that simple in Monifah's life. After confessing to be a loser mother - well deadbeat mom - she empathises that her lover Terez  (is that like short for Teresa?) is missing out on having a biological child. It's never simple on Planet Monifah so she wants to implant Terez's egg/ova and carry it. Ewww.... is what I think. 

 Secondly WTF. Why can't Terez carry her own baby - let her go get pregnant. We get former-women-now-transgender-men getting their wombs in action and getting pregnant so why can't Terez . Okay we can see some real control issues in that relationship. If Terez wants a baby she can do it the old fashion way with a turkey baser and sperm juice - even groupies do that with ballers' sperm. It's always about drunken nights those husler chicks have methods and ways!
Later on Monifah goes and books some time at the studio. Okay now we know she is going to be singing.  


Monifah and Group Meeting with all Divas but no Micheal. 

For lack of a better place I'm putting this bit in Monifah's part. I think this is the only show were the cast members actually eat on camera. At least we know no eating disorders. 


For all the times I've seen Love and Hip Hips or basket balls Wives in a restaurant I've never seen a plate of food in front of them. Just booze, liquor or alcohol. Those girls work hard to keep their weight down - these chicks don't care. 


Wearing hideous yellow earrings with SEXY logo, Syleena tells the girls her sister had managed to get them a gig singing for some basketball club. It's like setting a cat among pigeons because the issues over take and it starts the arguments. 

Faith as usual is going to be out of town. OK. Why does she even bother come up but as co-executive producer and one of the more famous one (Nicci Gilbert is next) I think she needs to make an appearance so it pulls in an audience. 


Nicci Gilbert - starts with her lame - 'I have issues' singing for passion. OK. I think she also has better things to and is not for singing in some basketball arena. I don't take her seriously any more because it's such a lame excuse and she is co-executive producer of this show. It's also an easy and uncontroversial storyline. 

Monifah Carter manages to shove in four forks full of food in her mouth before ongoing on blast Monifah goes on blast about too much separation with the group and it just seems too staged because less face it these women are all attention seekers so if one person quits it means more stage and vocals for them. No one really cares. She goes on about unity blah blah blah and eventually I tune out (I do that a lot during this show).  

They get my attention back when Keke, Monifah and Syleena agree to do it. Keke had conditions that the Wyatt tribe could come as well- yes that mean Micheal as well. 

OMG! Michael is missing from the group.

 
With the basketball gig settled everyone realises that Keke has forgotten her handbag sorry I mean husband Michael. Okay maybe not forgotten but she's alone. I begin to suspect that Micheal and Keke 'joined-at-hip' thing is something for this show.  I think Keke is probably the wisest and most intelligent of all of them even though she can be a brat and act very spoilt. Let's face it she has six/seven kids and is on her second husband. 



She must have some sense. I also think the whole gay issue with Michael is a set-up and untrue.  Anyway Keke says she misses Micheal - I do too because he does make these boring diva-meeting interesting. But knowing Keke she probably breathed a sigh of relief and is happy to leave Micheal at home with the kids and changing new baby Wyatt's diaper/nappies. 
 
Monifah goes into her baby thing and Keke tells her that her brother too wants a baby. Not all a 24/7 responsibility - spoken like a true man but just something to carry on his genes. Monifah isn't impressed and even though Keke's brother is fine and very talented she would rather get some random sperm donor. She politely says no however Nicci spots a new issue - how can Monifah handle both a child and a career. Whatever.  Let's say Nicci has a short chat with Monifah in a park.

 Terez and Monifah do Skpe

Last thing I remember is Monifah skyping butch Terez about the baby issues. Terez doesn't see what the issue is - many women are pregnant and work but she is like it's up to Monifah. I see a power imbalance in that relationship. Why can't  Terez carry her own baby. I mean she is a woman, right?


 Why spend all that cash, have complications because this Terez heifer wants to behave like a man. She want to give her ovum for Monifah to carry - let make it crude is basically wants Monifah to carry her baby - that is such a male thought and it's so past penis-envy that I'm done.  Unless the chick has had a hysterectomy or has female problems there is no reason for Monifah to carry. 


Monifah had dependencies issues and Terez just seems an thing for Monifah to act out her issues. Anway I was done when silly heifer moo-moo Monifah told her I love you and Terez said 'I love you back.' WTF is that all about. Can't she just say 'I love you too.'  I won't be surprised if Monifah met a man and swapped again. That's the sort of vibe I get of Monifah - whatever she's into at the moment. So all in all Terez may have the power but Monifah is fickle and could move on.


Quickly as the idea appeared to Monifah it went and all of a sudden Monifah for some reason didn't want to have a baby anymore so not sure if it were part of the show and Trez just played along. Still my rant stands.  

Nicci Gilbert resolves her issues. 

 It seems Nicci's missing singing passion which is wrapped up in three scenes where suddenly she discovers her passion. It starts with Big Jim, then her mother and ends in a nice sing-song with Mama Nicci, Big Jim and Nicci. There is some bald guy there as well. 

Big Ole Jim and Nicci talk issues.
Nicci meets with Big Jim in some random shaded yard-type place - sort of Latin themed. They talk a lot but I don't remember what about so can't be too interesting.   However I do remember Big Jim calling her eccentric - codeword for difficult or mad take your pick.




Then Nicci talks and talks and  I've sort of tuned out again. Big Jim doesn't really care but Big Jim's in-house vocal coach did say this was  the reason why these Divas had zero careers and were has-been -  their egos and an unwillingness to listen to the professional. Very true observation.

 Anyway I think time was running out so in order to meet his next appoint - and because I have to go home too because I blogging in the office. He said it got it. Good for him because I still don't get it but nor do I care. Nicci then tells us what - 'got it' means. Like I give a hoot.



 Anyway  Big Jim pulls out all the stops and tells Nicci he has a surprised for her. She gets to work with some man who she worked with on 'If you Love Me' - on of my favourite songs. She raves about how good this guy is and how he will bring out her passion etc. Whatever. 

Nicci Gilbert and Mama Nicci have lunch
 
Nicci invites Mama Nicci for lunch.  Nicci takes after her daddy cause heifer is like twice her Mama's size in height, width and girth.

  She bleats on about her passion then gets a bit teary - I might be making that bit up but whatever.


 The big emotion moment (ya'll know the drill by now if you've watched more than three seasons of any African American reality show ) when Nicci reveals (the same in most those reality shows) that Mama gave up her dream as  a promising Jazz singer for Nicci and her sister. Also to sing with Mama will bring on Nicci's passion. I said I was nearly over this program. Did I cry? Heck, no I didn't but it was a nice moment.  


Mama Nicci is touched and accepts the invitation. She is glad that Nicci thinks of her not only as a mother but as a person and professional/artist in her own right.

Studio sing-song time with Nicci, Big Ole Jim and Mama Nicci - also some random skinhead/shaven. 


Nicci, Big Jim and Mama are sitting down with some guy at the piano sipping white wine or champagne. That might be shaven dude might be the famous guy but I don't know his name. So let's say he's just industry famous. Nicci gives her story about the song - same old stuff about mother giving up all for her kiddies. We get good mother and bad mother stories - never just ordinary mother stories.

So then Nicci brings out the song she wrote for she and Mama Nicci to sing. Same old song about issues. Nicci sings but then Mama opens her mouth and sings. She's okay with the build up I was expecting something amazing. She's not like an undiscovered talent or anything. She seems a good singer. What do I know I just blog and make these show relevant.



Big Jim approves and everyone is happy. I think Nicci Gilbert issues of singing without passion has been cured.  What will be her next issue? I mean it's only episode 5 unless the others take over. Monifah has plenty.
Keke Wyatt, Monifah and Syleena Johnson sing.

Reheasals first.

We see the three stooges (even Micheal calls them that) practicing.  


As ususal in this show they are arguing over harmonies and melodies.   Uninteresting so I'ma moving on.

 Big Night at the basketball game.
 
The day comes for all three: Keke Wyatt, Monifah and Syleena to sing - don't ask me who's playing because I don't know nor do I care it - anit exactly Superbowl.


They do look kind of messy (I mean in appearance) like they made no effort at all. The Wyatt family come in full force with Michael at the helm.
 

They sing nicely so nothing much to say but it is a boring and dull way to end the show. 

 

The case of $95 million, Mel Tucker, Willy Bo-bo and inappropriate sexual conducts on the telephone.

Mel, Mel, Mel. It's tough. Mr Tucker. I discussed this case with someone and it's shame. It's a shame that it came to that. List...