Father in home and lacks mental stimulation

So as you all gather my father is now in a residential home. My last post was about him eating his clothes - well not literary but like in an anxious sort of way. I figured it was lack of mental stimulation since he was a very active man before his stroke and another ageing illness.


Anyway he can't really read - well I don't think so because he still can't talk properly with is frustrating for us as well as him. Also as elderly person he was in hospital and with a change of environment this can have a set back on everything. And it does. It's very hard to explain but changing environments can have a very unsettling effect on some elderly people.

Anyway he was discharged from hospital so the family had a chat with the home. After all the medical details - I can tell you a few things about peg feeds we discussed about how he was generally. I told them I found he seemed bored. Well it seems it's a fairly common with residents. Now boredom is a good and bad sign. The good thing is that he's getting back to himself and realising his surrounding but the other is that he is bored. Very bored. And bed bound.


Reading and suggested audio books

Another thing is that he's a reading man with effect of the strokes he can hardly lift his hands. Anyway I was looking for something interesting to do so they suggested doing getting some talking/audio books. But I also think he needs some visual stimulus. If only there were solitaire games for bed bound patients.

Anyway, I've not been about to see him because I've got a cold/flu. Simple - no. He is vulnerable to infections so these things will have to wait till I'm fit - so a couple of days.

I've got him a hardback book with big writing and I've found a charity that does free talking books which I shall sign up for. It's called Calibre and it's an audio book lending library for those with poor eyesight or conditions that prevent them from reading print. It does all kinds of book even those into some x-rated stuff like 50 shades.

http://www.calibre.org.uk/

Singing

I sometimes sing to him thought I can't alway remember a song or something suitable. He could listen to the radio but sometimes it's turned off and forgot to be switched back on again. The perilous of having weak limbs and being bed bound is that a person relys on vitually everything being done for them.

Overall

Over the last few years of the family caring for my father it's being difficult to know what exactly he'd like or dislike. It's always a risk doing something in which the person will not be interested. Even more so since he can't do want he generally did which was just going about socialising and reading.

It's a difficult one.

Fly Lady - drama with products and Rubba Scrubbas (or similar ) in the UK

I read FlyLady emails and there seems a lot of gushing about her products especally the Rubba Scrubbas so I decided to see if they were really as good as claimed. Then I realised I'd bought a similar product at a tradefair once and never used it. It just seemed too stiff and tiresome so it was abadoned. It was one of those tools that looked so good in demostrations but at home was boring. We all have those with shoes, clothes and kitchen appliances.

Also I'm not too bothered about a bit of dirt here and there. I'm not a homemaker or house wife, I'm not married and I have no kids. So I don't have time to be bother about missing a spot here and there. There is more to life than cleaning though I do like a tidy home and for that Flylady's advice seems fun.

Anyway looking for reviews on her products what I didn't count on was the critism FlyLady got. You'd think people paid to be part of her group which is free and mostly common sense.  There seems a problem with people taking her advice too far and getting disappointed when things don't turn out how they quite expected.

Flylady at the most only gives suggestions. You take what you need. I only need a tidy sink so I don't do shiny. I'm a few days late but better late than never.

Read this post for all the flylady bitching based on a blog by a lady called Pat Gundry
http://noodlefactory.typepad.com/noodling/2006/06/flylady_my_conc.html Which makes for interesting reading however most of the negative comments are just women whining about one thing or the other. A few good ones but like I said she only give advice and you take what works for you. As for her products - well I just use things from the local store.

If you are in the UK and really desparate for the Rubba Scrubbas apparently you can get something similar in the pet section of the 99p shop.

Well, do you happen to have a '99p store' in your neighbourhood? The chain of stores who took over quite a lot of the old Woolworths premises. (You can check where your nearest one is on their website: http://www.99pstoresltd.com/index.asp). If you do, have a look on their pet supplies section. There is a brush which is very similar to the Rubba Scrubba (looks identical except that it's white and green) which is sold as a pet hair brush. I bought one, and it is very effective. Certainly worth the money.

Pea.

http://boards.fool.co.uk/fly-lady-rubba-scrubba-11814592.aspx



I'm loving my tidy sink and clean bathroom.

Tidying up routine gong well

Okay so I'm doing this tidy thing because things are a bit chaotic and like with the rest of my life I allowed google to decide. It came up with Marci, the thankful homemaker. She seemed pretty cool and gave credit to Flylady who is like a housecleaning and organizing guru.

Anyway I did a bit of Marci's morning rountine I've found simple enough. 

1. Cleaning the bathroom - I do this first thing when I'm in there. I just wipe down the sink, bath and loo.  I  haven't got the mirror or mopping the floor stage yet. Remeber I'm just on day five fo this thing.
2. I do my morning stretches but I've always done these anyway. It's just a simple yoga routine with some of the ta chi movements (if I remember)

From Flylady I've being keeping a tidy sink. Yest she says shiny well tidy is good enough for me. When I mean tidy I mean empty of dishes and nothing on the draining board. I don't have a dishwaster so I do things the old fashion way - with washing up liquid and hand action.

So far so good but it does take committment to keep a tidy not shiny sink. Well off to do some washing up now.

Starting on Cleaning and Tidying Schedule thanks to Marci the Thankful Homemaker

I need a cleaning schedule or either that or hire a maid (too expensive). I went on google and found a really good one. But will I follow it? I've tried the super cleaning guru Flylady before but sort of fell by the wayside.

I get really confused about housework - maybe if I weren't on the internet all day I might have some time to do some. That was a joke - Kind of.

I'm not a homemaker, I don't have a man that allows me to stay at home though it might be nice. I work so I can't spend all the time cleaning. I don't even have a man full stop. Whatever.

I found this site with a sample schedule it's by a lady called Marci the Thankful Homemaker who is happily married to Doug.

She seems a bit scarily super-organised but I think it's what I need. I actually have like tons of time management books but it means taking time out to read them. Nah, that's just a waste of time.

If you are into religion or Jesus check out her blog. I just want to be tidier. Cleanliness is next to Godliness - that's good enough for me.

http://thankful-homemaker.blogspot.co.uk/

So I've checked out her site - she has a homemaking binder section. Okay no way am I going that far but I can always edit stuff. And at least it give me a lead. She is amazing! I would usually cuss in that but I need to respect that I don't think Marci the thankful homemaker will appreciate me doing that. Still great stuff but then she's also based her stuff off Flylady. Maybe I'll try both. Hmmm.... don't want to knock myself out just reading about cleaning instead of doing it. Mental fatigue, you know.

I'll use Marci as a template and follow Flylady. How does that sound? Okay here it goes. This is Flylady's website if you are thinking of doing something like me.

http://www.flylady.net/d/getting-started/flying-lessons/

http://thankful-homemaker.blogspot.co.uk/p/homemaking-binder.html

We'll just have to see.

I seem to be over urban books.

I went through a phrase when I loved watching gangsta movies and reading books. Now it's all called urban but at first it was gangsta then hip hop now urban. Change the cover  but the content is still the same.

I remember my college friends getting my Juice - with Tupac, Omar Epps and Kardeem Hardison. I collected Menace II Society which featured a young Jada Pinkett and also Poetic Justice, Friday and a few others. It was the hey day of VHS.

From them I discovered that the genre went far back and so I watched early on like Super Fly, Foxy Brown Philly High and a few others. I read Pimp by Slim Iceberg and a few others.  After a while I stopped and other things took my interest - I sort of do that in my reading.

Then zoom a few years later there was a new wave of writers all starting with Sista Soulja's The Coldest Winter Ever and then Wahida Clark's Thug Trilogy. Clark's books were easier to read though at the same time followed a simple premise and were quite formulaic.

It was at this point the genre because urban and a very good hustle to making money. It was the time hip hop was reaching a wider audience and featuring in the main commercial charts and getting play on main stream radio. Some Hip Hop became pop and it was no longer an underground sound.

The books became a serous hustle and ghetto fabulous was in. Writers were getting on the New York Times best sellers list and this was when it became a formula and no longer original works - a bit like reality TV or romance novels. At some point urban books became pure escapism in the way of Harlequin romance novels (including the Kimani brand).

Everything was pretty much the same stuff. It was only different locations and character names but same old situations be it a street soldier, pimp or dealer with some ride or die chick and a babymama in some corner. Lots of gun action and dead bodies when at some man decides he want to go legit - or basically a different take on that situation. The book always needs a strong woman who is doing it for herself and riding & dying with some man.

 Anyway I recently picked up another called Street Soldier 2 Silhouettes. It's an imprint and copyright of Urban Books.  This means Urban Books commissioned a professional writer and paid them for writing the book. Also the writer gets no credit in the book. All publishers do it from time to time. They may give the writer a storyline, characters and a word count. Street Soldier 2 was well written but it just wasn't exciting any more. Maybe I'd just grown up.

Bitterness, Funerals and Life Goes On.

Horace of Finchey was a popular street entertainer and street artist who recently died. He was a man that lived his life the way he wanted to for years. He was kind, cheerful and wished everyone the best of luck. I once heard him in Camden Sainburys supermarket yelling 'the best of luck' to everyone.

When a family member use a funeral to settle the score.

An uncle of mine, Uncle T who easily could have been Horace died not long ago, too. 

Each of us have our truth and behind scenes of the tributes, mourning and celebration of my Uncle T's life a family drama of power, anger and control slowly erupted and exploded at the his grave side.

Everyone will have an opinion. I too have decided to put my business and that of my family in the street. It's like a reality show. My uncle would probably be confused and find it funny that he's causing so much fuss in death. He probably would just shake his head and walk away and get on with his business.

But, Uncle T,  ya know we all deep down ratchetness, we be carrying our business to the street and wearing our heart on our sleeves.  You know it aint no family gathering without some words exchanged or something happening. It's La Fam.

My grandfather who looked after my uncle died about twenty years ago. The reason - my late grandmother gave birth to my uncle in her forties and as women know sometimes this can lead to complications. So my uncle needed a guardian because he was young.

Anyway when my grandfather died it was decided for various reasons that an aunt would look out for him. He lived on his own so this was about making sure he was okay. It wasn't an easy task - challenging and sometimes unrewarding. Instead of saying she couldn't cope she let her resentment fester. It's a control thing. She is the kind of person that is always right and it had to be her way. It's hard to explain but some people like to take ownership of something. Strangers think she is fantastic and a wonderful person but ya'll most people have those saints in their family. They will move mountains for outsiders but ...
 
 Anyway he was in and out of hospital - which we found out later - via her eulogy (it was something ya'll - a bit uncomfortable at times - and no she didn't read it - so got someone else to do it - same old excuse - grief) and she never informed the family. Anyway one day he has a bad turn and is touch and go for four hours. He decides to go. My aunt obviously knowing the seriousness of his condition and he was dying did not inform the family. Time out - if you're black basically - African, African American or West Indian. If you are black you know that some of us do vigilance or at the very least allowing us to say good bye to a dying person is very important. You probably thinking maybe she was right to shut out family who she alleged didn't care - but you don't know the full story and I'm not going to go into it. Let her be a saint. Let her be the Christian she claims to be.

So he passes. He decides to go. Three days later she informs me to tell my mother and give me the time of the funeral and not to wear black. Okay. She also tells me a few other things and I aint in the mood to listen her rachetness so I put the phone down on her and make my way to my mother.

I ring my mother who apparently had already found out from her brother. One of my cousins had found out via social media he died so informed him. Okay - I'm like she is mourning and grieving but people she is also taking pops.  Some may think she was justified - who know? I find out later she only informed me for damage control - because she knew others had found out via social media.

Later on I find out the social media knew on the day he died, pure strangers. People that passed him in the street knew before kin. Okay. But it gets worse.

She hoarded veiwing of his body instructing the funeral home no one (family) was allowed a private viewing at the funeral home. It's going to be an open coffin/casket funeral so everyone could see him at the same time. We find out she can do what she wants. Fine.


We all are human and sometimes when we feel wrong we think about our hour of vindication. We think when we will have the upper hand but when the time comes most of us let it go. Most I say but not all.

This was no longer about my uncle but her hour of glory. I hoped she enjoyed basking in it. She is the kind that goes telling everyone how much she was doing. As I said there is backstory to all of this. She has her own truth and so does everyone else.  We learnt lessons from this but this heifer carried it way beyond.

It was a nice and befitting turn out for a man loved by all. All his friends, associates and people that loved him turned out. It was beautiful. They'd all come to see pay their respects and see him off. Wonderful. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Praise be to the Creator for all this. It was also a fine day with good weather.


Sat at the back with my mother then we went to grave side. After that we went. Other family members went up to her - now you know that kind of person - wrong or right is waiting for it.  Lawd have mercy I heard she went off one saying 'You never cared about him.' For Real! You are kidding me right? They probably shouldn't have gone up to her given the sentiment already. I know, I know, I know - she was grieving and in mourning. Right, I get it - I even said it but stop. Unless you are the receiving side of that I think we will never get it. I don't get it. I don't understand it. But I get the 'do what you will' because of grief and mourn. Still it's not a license to malice especially if you knew the whole story. Everyone has a version; everyone thinks theirs is the only true one.

All I think was they gave her a platform for her to do her drama queen theatricals. She was probably waiting and hoping they came up to her. And they did. At grave side. Shake my head. She did it to an audience so saying it makes no difference.

It's sad that she went that far. It was hurtful and vindictive what she said. She was grieving, she was mourning. people behave differently when they grieve and mourn - I know that. It's a common excuse.


Anger is colourless. Spite is colourless. Meanness has is colourless too. It could be said people mourn in different ways - okay. Just make sure they don't target you.

Outside she is a saint to all inside she denied my close family the choice to mourning their brother in private.  She has spoken words even if true to her can't be taken back. She has taken actions that make others shake their heads.  She has coloured the sunlight with her darkness. So not only do they contend with the passing of their youngest brother they have to reconcile the fact that she behaved in this way.

Her honour of glory has past. The pain may remain but it will fade and only be remembered in memories. It's over. And as she plays the event over in her mind will it bring her satisfaction. Maybe but who really wants that sort of satisfaction? Bitterness is colourless - you can only see it in actions, words and intent.


As I said everyone has their opinion and their truth. It's easy to judge and pass comment if it weren't your family. It's unfortunate. Oh well, it's done.

So like Horace of Finchley, I had an uncle that once lived. Now gone. And funny thing as I said above  is that Uncle T wouldn't have really cared. He'd have just looked up, scratched his head and the probably laughed and been confused at all this fuss.

Funerals are for the living least we forget because the dead are already gone.

Thank you for reading this  and using Horace of Finchley's words  I wish you all- The Best Of Luck!

Thank you to my readers who read my reality blogs on R&B Divas, Love and Hip Hop and Basketball Wives.

Thank you for reading my blog regarding all the reality shows I watched. It's being a great journey watching them and writing up about what I thought.

I decided not to write about them any more because it was no longer fun. When I first started these shows were exciting - I loved watching the Love and Hip Hop New York series - then I got hooked on the Basketball Wives. I was blogging before but also as soon as I started to write about these dysfunctional but entertaining people I started to get hits. So I got greedy for more hits and I would talk about was how many hits I was getting to anyone that listened.

After the Lozada and Tami Roman situation - I wasn't sure about blogging but the hits kept on coming. I knew the casts of these shows were mostly wannabes desperate for fame or a lot of has beens like Benzino Ray Scott or Stevie J that wanted a comeback. But it was still exciting. As bad and horrible as the drama and conflict got I was glued to screen and more people were reading my blog.

Now after R&B Divas I've decided to take stop because though it's easy to write about reality shows it wasn't what I set out to do. In fact I'm not really sure what I wanted. Well I am. I wanted attention by people reading what I had to say. I wanted to be popular and looking how many times someone read a blog post made me happy but in the end I took no pride in criticising or trying to make sense of these attention seekers. What I realised was by writing about them I was becoming part of the reality show machine. I just want to write fiction. Simply write.

I see many bloggers especially on You Tube they start with a good idea but end up with doing reality shows or celeb gossip because it's what gets the youtube hits. I watch them and have my favourites but it's no longer what I want to do.

Thank you very much once again for reading my posts. I'll probably still watch the shows but just for fun - and not to comment and review on them. I will drop the odd blog once in while as I said I'm not sure what I'm going to be doing yet.

UPDATE: 26 JULY 2013



Things have changed since then and as you can see I've continued writing. Sometimes the negativity on these shows are too much and to relive it again by writing about it is too much. And at other times nothing really happens but now I've found a solution and just do a brief summary as is in some episodes of R&B Divas Atlanta.

I do write fiction as well and check me out on Smashwords.   So as long as I have time and there are shows I like and want to write about. I will.

 
BLESSINGS & A BIG THANKS

Best Wishes and Love

Snuggie xoxoxoxoxo

My Life: Father in home and chewing clothes.

My elderly father had a serious stroke and then a bad relapse so had to go into residential care.  I think he is slowing recovering. He lost use of one side and is weak in the other.

The doctors were pretty doubtful in the hospital and I just think it's because he didn't recover on their timetable being a elderly man. He also has some underlying ageing condition which makes things more difficult. The doctors reckon I was emotional - maybe I was and an - it doesn't really matter because pessimistic or optimistic the situation is what it is.

I visit him regularly but now over the last few weeks I've seen him chew his clothes.  There is nothing much one can do about this I think. It probably is because he's bedridden there is a lack of stimulation also because he lives in his mind. I've googled some chewing toys given to children but the problem is that he might bite off a lot and end up choking. Also the home may not allow it since he's under their care. Lastly, it doesn't resolve the problem of why he's doing this.

We did buy an ipad for him to use but for various reasons and mainly due to his confused state it can't be left at the home.  So what to do?

If anyone has any suggestions please leave a comment below. I'm thinking of getting a toy but I'm not sure which one - they all seem childish and as his daughter I don't want to be patronising.

I've decided I'll take up a picture book. Anyway I'll give an update and probably try and draw some pictures.

R&B Divas Season 1 Episode 3: Keke's Labour, Nicci and Syleena bitch, Monifah tattletales to Faith Evans - and the Michael the handbag is still an issue.

The reality show foolery continues in this show. While there is no direct rachetness or behaviour there is a lot of meaningless gossip, rivalry and bad behaviour in a different way. This might be mixed up and out of sequence but do we really care? No not really because it's at the end of day we all know the story - same old, same old from Basketball Wives to Love and Hip Hop (New York and Atlanta) - females with issues only this time in R&B Divas there is not hitting, biting or bottle throwing - just pure bitchness, gossiping and bossiness under the theme of 'helping a soul' sister. I think real threapy is better only these chicks wouldn't get a check. They will have to pay the check!

Early morning breakfast with Syleena Johnson and Nicci Gilbert

We start with show with Syleena Johnson and Nicci Gilbert having a breakfast meeting just to bitch and gossip,  sorry, I mean talk about their concerns about Keke Wyatt. These two didn't get along in the beginning but for some reason since the fashion show they seem to be best friends forever. I'm still confused to why Nicci chose Syleena to be in her fashion show preview. Anyroad, Syleena starts off with the studio incident where both Micheal and Keke had an argument and I'm like for real?

  This is pure gossip because Sleeya wasn't even there. Okay, I agree that Keke may have been over the top but come on who doesn't have issues. Anyway the bitch, gossip and go in Keke. Nicci says that Keke needs to control her temper and one day it may turn ugly - I think they maybe refering to Keke's husband stabbing incident. I'm so over this reality women coming together to 'help' another cast member that their exact words just float over me.

 It's so Basketball Wives, Love and Hip Hop etc but in the end it's just gossipping.   Okay However R&B Divas take a new angle and decide they are going to help Keke. I'm like WTF. Anyway Nicci and Sleeya decide they are going to have chat with Keke. 

We get at cut back to clip where Keke is arguing with Micheal him saying it wasn't that deep and Keke yelling she didn't care if it were dreaming.



'Pat on the back' session with Uncle Jim

The girls to sing for super producer Jim who has worked with lost of famous people . They start to congratulate themselves about this charity abulm which into the third week none has really started to lay down tracks for. 

The Producer Jim is like - it's good when black women can come together in unity. Excuse me? What he is basically saying not those rachet shows were chicks are fighting for money or men. But since he lives in Atlanta I'm sure he's watched and secretlhy enjoyed Love and Hip Hop Atlanta like the rest of us.

Nicci still whining about singing not being work and her passion.

The Nicci Gilbert has a private session with another producer who tells her she needs to sing from the heart. She goes on about it not being her passion and how she doesn't really want to sing. Okay we get it, Nicci, you are just there to promote your fat chick fashion brand. CURVATO. We get it. However she does have a beautiful soprano tone and it sounds very pure.

Okay what she really said was singing is work not passion and she's just there because Faith Adams asked to be on the album. Still she has a beautiful high pitched soprano so I can see why people get on her case about not singing.

Group meeting with no Faith Adams

The girls and boy come together -Faith Evans sends her appologies for not joining them with a bottle of booze. Is Monifah supposed to be drinking after all all her addictions because she seemed might pleased at Faith's present.

 Soon enough it because all about Keke's handbag Micheal. Syleena Johnson starts to lay into Keke about having Micheal around and Keke really doesn't care. Then for some reason Nicci starts off as well. She doesn't think it's right for Sleeyna to approach Keke in that way and tells her exactly that. Sleeya starts barking then Nicci starts with the fist hammering the air. It all blows up and Nicci walks out.  Even Keke looks shocked and keep quiet.

It calms down and Syleena explains herself to Keke saying that it's only because she cares that why she wants Keke to be able at some point to leave her living, breathing Micheal handbag at home. Micheal knows better than to say anything so he keeps quiet. 'I don't want you weak, I want to empower you, With Jesus we will do.' Amen to that sister. Sounds like church - not be out done the Queen of Issues Monifah starts that she has the same issues as Keke and therapy works really well. We know Monifah - alcoholism, drugs, not bonding with child etc but we really don't care.

Keke gives her speech about not being able to function without Micheal. Last week it was because she could keep an eye on the man -now it's about her being a turle in her shell.  Finally Micheal steps in and goes all pastor-like as if he is preaching to a church and tells her he loves her for her. And he knows deep inside she can let go of the issues - otherwise he would be there - or somehtinbg like that. Anyway to me Keke doesn't really care about all this bs and will do her. Syleena is so touched that she says Micheal is an honouray Girl. Does that mean Micheal gets to stay as Keke's handbag?

This takes us the Keke and Micheal where Keke basically says - Keke will only do Keke . So many people have told her about changing but the fact it - it is hard. Yes, I agree. When the time is ready she will let go. She is honest that she'd rather not deal with her issues. To be fair as long as Micheal is a happy being a handbag then there is no real issue. People live their lives differently and who are we to try and change. It's not really about us.



 Monifah drives dangerously

At some point we have Monifah driving dangerously and irresponsibly while tattletaling or reporting to Faith  about Nicci and Syleena Johnson so called issues. The woman has a blackberry in one hand and the steering on the other.

At some point either the show or  Monifah decidesd that both Sleeya and Nicci have issues. I roll my eyes. And Monifah wants it resolved. This format is so tired I'm not sure what to say. This is the simple case. Syleena and Nicci Gilbert are both the same in way. Now you may call them strong black women but they are just stubborn, forceful, bossy (pushy) and opinionated - the only difference it the way they handle themselves.


And at some point the stupid woman lifts the steering hand to make some point - so the car is steering itself. Dangerous driving and cheap. Cheap because I don't see why she can't invest in hands free car kit. I Monifah killed some of her brain cells in her addictive moments because that was stupid.   


Faith Evans shares a Whitney Moment with Kelly Price

We cut to faith Evans in LA but to be honest she could be anywhere. She could have been in the next room filming - there is nothing to say she is in LA. She probably couldn't be with the girls but shot her bits before hand - just saying we don't really know.

We bring in Kelly Price and they have a Whitney moment and talk about some other irrelevant stuff like Kelly Price making some food and dropping vocals on the album. Now Kelly Price is an amazing singer, that I know but I'm not sure if she ever reached her true potential.

Nicci and Syleena do the issues talk



They both do the same thing but in different ways. Anyways we have this meeting which doesn't really resolve anything but there is not to resolve as both  Nicci and Syleena think they are right.

Nicci gives perfectly plausible reasons as to why she thought Syleena was wrong and I do agree with her on that. Keke is pregnant and about to give birth so it's no point dealing with emotional issues because not sure what effect it may have on her body. She has a point.

Syleena not wanting to be wrong defends herself - saying it was the right moment and because she can talk when, or where or how she wants to talk because she (Syleena) thinks she is an amazing communicator.

Okay we understand that since Syleena is such an amazing communicator (Hello Oprah) the problem must be with Nicci for not agreeing with her. I mean how can it be Syleena's fault when she is so amazing. Syleena sh$t must smell of roses too. Syleena does a Dr Jeff/Dr Phil.  At this point I switch off the show again. I don't they care that they are arguing about Keke who frankly doesn't care about her issues. We all don't care.

Both are bossy and loudmouth chick so whatever. However Syleena should really pick her moments though but who really cares once it makes good TV? I know I don't.

Monifah and Syleena  go boxing


Nothing more to be said about from Monifah swaggering in to do some punch bag sessions in a gym with Syleena who says they don't need to practice or something because they are from the hood.

 Does that mean at some point she might actually get ratchet and floor Nicci?

Keke Wyatt gives birth

This is all wrapped up around the Keke's baby's birth. She has complications at some point but the baby is healthy and the girls (Nicci, Syleena and Monifah) do a nice harmony with a Gospel Song.



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Another ramdon drawing

Random picture

I'm practicing drawing with my Bamboo board.

Letting go of grudges.

I'm trying to keep up with my blog but I'm really into the tool to Life and now in week five of the program. It's great and I'm feeling the benefits already. It's a free online life coach website and I strongly recommend you trying it out. Be patient because it's a 90 programme but it's worth it. 

I'm slowing changing and not holding on to grudges. I'm working on letting them go. They are a burden and distracting me from focusing on my own development. Keeping grudges is one burden I can do without. I might start to transfer some of my other bloggie stuff here.


http://toolstolife.com

What type of business do I want to have?

So I've finally made my business my top goal priority. If you read my other blog you'd see I was rather conflicted with all the others. But this is my number one focus.

 What type of business do I want to have?

  This was a question I was asked in a workshop and was told it was best to know from the start.
These were the options given.

1. To build an empire
2. To build something to sell later along the lines
3. A lifestyle business - a bit like a job - just earn enough to keep you in an accustomed lifestyle.
4. Partnership

Well I'm not ambitious so this is really just a lifestyle business. I want to earn enough money to keep me in a certain lifestyle. I'm not doing it to take over the world or have it printed on every billboard, hoarding or to fly private jets. Just to provide me a decent enough income to meet bills, go on nice holidays and pay the rent.

To be honest I haven't got a clue.

What is my blog about? And a Big up to Maplin,Tottenham Court Road.

Before I digress into moaning and whining, I need to commend the customer service of the sales team at Maplin, Tottenham Court Road. Very knowledgeable crew who have helped me out with a range of electronic queries but the key thing is that they saved me buying the wrong thing and spending lots of money. These guys know their stuff. I could make it simpler and write to their head office but I'm just saying it here. So if you need an electrical store in central London, just pop into them. They are near Goodge Station opposite Marks and Spencer’s.

What is my blog about?

I don't really know. I'm trying to get a theme and look at my hobbies but maybe I'm really just a boring lazy person. I've really being looking at things to write about and you know what I like. Hip hop. I love the politics of hip hop and also the celebrity world so I might write about that. I think it will be as random as usual.

I need to build a postive attitude.

My attitude sucks. It really does. It's so appalling that I had to pull myself back and decide it was time to be to try and get some sort of motivation. So I'm really trying. I've gone back to saying and writing affirmations in the morning. Whether they work or not itI hope puts me in a better mood in the morning.

I'm doing my best. Sometimes there is nothing really to write about but if I did stop I might not start again.

Yay!Got the Business cards Today

Well they technically came yesterday but I was out of the house so I had to go the post office this morning to pick them up. They look really good. I designed them myself in photoshop with the help of this video from Youtube http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=C-gdz9gVIDc

This works in any version. I'm so excited just to finish my website next.

Where do I start?

I want to write about my experiences in going about setting a business.  I'm excited, scared and on the occasion racked with doubt.  I must confess I'm not really sure what I'm doing or supposed to be doing. I did start off reading a lot of books but found I was getting weighed down by a lot of information.

Contradictions come into play. There is a lot of focus on reading, researching and planning however in reality when I read about real business people they just got an idea and jumped in the deep end. It was as time went on they formalised and rationalised their paths, plans and goals.

However because of how inexpensive information is and 'helping is such HUGE business today there is a focus on getting it right first time. But sometimes I think I need to make my own mistakes and learn my own lessons otherwise I'd be spending valuable time just reading and planning.

Why I am doing this?

I've come to a point in my life where I need to make a decision. I've not worked for a while now and the recession has adversely affected my industry. So why do this you may ask? Doesn’t it defeat the point? Well, yes and no. I can either continue to apply for work or try and start out on my own. It's the same difference and at least I won't feel like a piece of meat that's being graded each time.

I'm also still looking for work as I said before I'm just trying. I will confess I can be a living contradiction but who isn't? But this isn't fiction where everything is neatly packed and has plot line. It's real life.

The Business Plan
Well I was doing one till I discovered I didn’t really have a clue.  I’m a humble office worker. A nine to fiver, what do I know about crummy business plans?   I don’t want to get stuck in the planning stage.

Maybe it’s not for me- who cares that statement never stopped anyone and it’s not going to stop me. What I found with most of the examples I worked with is that most people had already dipped their toes in the pond that is done something similar. No one was really starting from fresh unless they were buying in a business like a shop or pub. I don’t know people. All I really got out of it was marketing. You need to market yourself and then cash flow. So customers and cash flow are epitome of the business world.

The word - determination. then more of the same bad grammer and all

I read a news item  about a woman who had lost a lot of weight however what struck me was when they asked her how and she said "I was determined".  The word determined is quite heavy for me. And it did really did strike home. When was the last time I felt determined about anything? I couldn't remember and I think that's what's lacking in my basic attitude.  I had a bit of drive, some focus but I'm lacking in determination. The may all sound the same but I don't think so. I'm highly motivated as well with a bit of passion. I start off with a bit of fire but I really think I need to get some determination under my wings.

From The New Shorter Oxford English Dictionary under meanings seven and eight I found something that fits what I thought it to be.

"Determination: (7)A tendency to move or flow in a fixed direction.(8) Resoluteness, determinedness; fixity of intention."

I need to think about how I'll get some determination. It's sounds silly but it's like getting motivated. What will make me determined, steadfast to achieve a goal.

If you think I'm being silly this blog post says it all.  http://www.paulgraham.com/determination.html


Other stuff

At some point in a previous post I did mention Rescuetime.com well it seems I have been below average for efficiency. So I understand I have a problem with getting distracted. A huge distractions are Skpe, emailing, gossip websites and youtube.

Bookkeeping Goal
I got down to some studying and managed to complete some studying as I intended I would. I basically went through some chapters and did some mind maps. Then I decided to do a mock test which took me a while to complete. I'm going to mark it up tomorrow and identify my week points. Yawn, yawn, yawn.

Your dreams, goals; Beware of Doubters, Naysayer and closet haters.

I'm digressing from my goals setting theme to have little chat about doubters, Naysayer and closet haters. Closet haters are those who look as if they are encourging you but are really just negative and you have to watch out for them.

What bought this on?

Well as you know if you read my post on business planning book I'm thinking of going into business. So I rocked up for a workshop by Business Link (highly recommended if you want to start up a business or get advice). I can’t commend it enough. It is such a excellent resource with excellent information guidess.

The facilitator/workshop coordinator told us a bit about themselves. How important they were and named dropped a bit.  Fine. Went through the motions of motivational speak you know ‘your passions, goal setting, dream and know your skills’. Said all the right things and did all the right things. Big problem was the facilitator though was experienced she/he could not inspire nor was flexible enough to change the material to suit the audience.

Said business may not be for you – which is honest and truthful but it was the way it was delivered. It a gloomy way. All this so called positive and motivating speech with a underlying negativity stringing through it. We know there is a recession but it’s not like it’s a massive start-up. Most are akin to petty trading. All I’m saying is that there is a way to deliver things.  Everything was perfect but it's one of those places you need to be there to feel the atmosphere. It's like you give different teachers the same material but they perform differently. 

My take is that you can inspire and motivate people, lift up their spirits and still do it with a dose of reality. Leave people feeling good because at some point on the journey they will find out but at least they will have tried. Even just going home on a high next day they may change their mind.

If you have a dream, don’t let anyone tell you can’t achieve it even before you’re started. This does not mean you have to be unrealistic. The journey is paved with naysayers, doubters and closet haters. Try it, get a pass ‘go’ and see. It may be other things that take over. But don’t allow a talk to rain on your parade.
 
BookKeeping update
So I’m doing the bookkeeping thing. Not my dream but a goal I’m keen on doing. Decisions I’ve taken.
1.    Do a 45 minute study session a day. This could be more or less.
2.    I went through the course syllabus and found out there are six sections so I’m thinking hopefully by next week I’ll have done it all.
3.    I’m going to be using the mind map technique by Tony Buzan.

Starting my goal of bookkeeping.

I finally got out my bookkeeping book. I was about to procastinate but thought 'Ah, can't do that you have committed to achieving it as a goal.' Nothing interesting I just looked at it. It was twenty-five odd chapters. Then I thought maybe I could do two mock exams and then the real one. But then it occured to me wouldn't it make more sense if I got the course outline and syllabuses for these exams. Because after all even though I'm looking at the book it may be too much.



So let's talk goal setting language.
re-focused objective: to pass the Level I The Certificate in Basic Bookkeeping.
Method: Homestudy

Milestones one: Completing topics in the book corresponding to the syllabus the entire book.
Milestone two: To complete a mock exam and see how I do
Milestone three: Complete an online mock exam
Milestone four: Do a quick revision
Milestone five: Do the exams and post my results on my blog.

Limiting factors
Well the saying 'Know thy self' applies. I'm disorganised, I procastinate and I get distracted. On top of all that I never have any time and I'm always tired.

So I think to achieve I need to break down into tasks which I hope I follow. Sorry if I state the obvious but it's my task list.

Tasks for milestone one

• Print out syllabus.
• Set up realistic study timetable
• Start studying

Other stuff.
Well you know I'm blogging my food diary as well. That might be the reason I'm tired. Too fat. It's weighing down my bones and I even take the lift (elevator) instead of walking up the stairs. I'm not on a diet. I've been on too many and I know what works but it's a motivation factor. I thought maybe the food dairy would be a good idea.It's called Snuggie's fooddairy at http://fatlogger.blogspot.com.


Socks
I have a few worn out pairs of socks. What do I do with them? I feel guilty throwing them out. Maybe I should just darn them. How do I do that? The are mostly odd pairs. Does anyone have the problem of always ending up with odd pairs?